You may be tempted to use that leftover custard as coffee creamer...

[Mister Obvious]

But I implore you, fucking don't.

Don't let your mouth write a check your asshole can't cash honey.

No one can afford that.

[Mister Obvious]

It tasted good going down but my God...

Pissing your brains out of your ass isn't worth it.

And look...

If it doesn't come out of a can, I am not eating it for the next week.

[Mister Obvious]

I'm just not taking any chances.

[Mister Obvious]

For the record, I have never kicked it with custard.

Ever.

It tastes like melted ice cream.

I don't even really like ice cream.

Always been more of an eggnog kinda person...

Christmases past have seen me getting it on with some SoCo and eggnog.

But I haven't even bothered with the stuff for years now, and I'll never try my hand with custard again. Fuck that.

[Mister Obvious]

Shout out to my magic underwear though... honorable mention. Those things are amazing. Consecrate your undies for protection guys, it really works. White candle under a full moon, try it out sometime.

[Dark Dick]

You should try peanut punch. Tap water, peanut butter and sweetened condensed milk.

[Mister Obvious]

I'm kinda revisiting my old idea about a straight up liquid diet.

The ol' meatshake idea.

I dunno...

Hold me back, cuz I'm tempted.

[Mister Obvious]

I just need some pate.

I got a date with pate.