I'm planning a big post election Trump victory party...

[Mister Obvious]

I cannot fucking believe this.

I love it, but I can't believe it.

We should have preemptive panic sex.

Preventative panic sex.

[Mister Obvious]

Lmao look at that oldass lady in the red coat recording with a pink iPhone.

[Mister Obvious]

God I wish I could fuck Barron Trump.

The ladies are gonna be so totally obsessed with this guy...

I mean, if they use him?? They will be able to talk the bitches into anything.

It's pretty scary really.

[Mister Obvious]

That's a scary amount of power, a real dangerous prospect.

Using Barron, they could talk all of the females in the nation into rallying behind a dicktatership... easily.

[Mister Obvious]

I'm bored.

[Mister Obvious]

This is boring.

[Mister Obvious]

Soldiers are escorting some of the female spouses... we'll see if Michelle is there.

[Mister Obvious]

Nah. Nah. She's not there. Just whack dude. What the eff.

[Mister Obvious]

The only reasons she wouldn't be there...

1. Bedridden and/or dead.

2. Divorcing Barack and hates him and Trump too.

3. Planning to go publicly insane against Trump during his time in office, then run for President in 2028.

[Mister Obvious]

They'd knock out a few birds with the same stone if Michelle was the first female president and also black.

I really hope that's not their plan with this. She should have just attended with Barack and done whatever afterward, who cares.

Because she refused to even be there, I don't have any respect for whatever the hell she's gonna come out with after this.

Maybe she ain't gonna come out with anything. Maybe she's really just ducking the fuck out of the game, dumping Barack and going to live in the Maldives for the rest of her life or something.

[Mister Obvious]

Joe and Kamala just entered.

[Mister Obvious]

Vance is entering behind some other dudes.

[Mister Obvious]

He looks fucking terrified and like he's about to hurl.

[Mister Obvious]

Great singer BTW, classy.

[Mister Obvious]

So I Googled whether or not Barry and Michelle are getting a divorce...

Apparently there have been rumors lately, but they released a "sub-tweet" statement saying they weren't splitting up.

To me, it's just a delay. They don't want to start dominating the news cycle with their divorce until after this is over.

[Mister Obvious]

Donald has entered.

[Mister Obvious]

This is fucking wild yo.

[Mister Obvious]

Deeewwwwwwdddd.

[Mister Obvious]

Here come Joe and Kamala.

[Mister Obvious]

Joe looks surprised and like he truly has no idea what the hell is going on.