I'm about to go see Alien: Covenant in theater!!!

[Mister Obvious]

Teehee!!! 

I'm so excited!!!

I've never been to the theater alone!!!

This is so great!!!

But I'm sitting in the parking lot right now and there's basically NO ONE here. It's honestly kinda creepy.

I'm here like 45 min. early. I wanted to make sure I beat the crowd...

ROFL... there's no crowd.

Hopefully it stays that way. I mean it IS noon on a Sunday. Hopefully 5 different churches don't decide to take everybody to see this movie. ROFL.

But I'm typically not the movie going type. I got this idea lastnight. Then I got so excited I could hardly sleep. I set my alarm for 11AM... this is my ringtone and alarm:



I'm gonna get the biggest bag of popcorn and the biggest HFCS laden soda and fucking SHEEPLE the SHIT out of this!!!

It's kinda weird because I saw Prometheus in theater too. I guess this is kinda the sequel.

I don't have anybody to tell me WTF it means. I guess I'll have to Google it after I watch!!!



Or maybe I'm smarter now!!!

YYYAAAAASSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mister Obvious]

Other people are starting to show up now...

Dammit!

Fuck off assholes, this is MY fun time!!!

[Mister Obvious]

I'm gonna eat SO MUCH POPCORN!!!!!!!

ALL MINE!!!!!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

[Mister Obvious]

Teehee!!!

I can't believe I'm about to pay money to go see a bunch of Hollywood disinfo propaganda!!!

So sheeple right now!!!

[Mister Obvious]

LOL, Wonder Woman!!!

Who would wanna go see that feminazi banal dogshit?!

[Mister Obvious]

I jut bought the ticket OMG I'm so excited!!!

Now I'm in the bathroom!!!

[Guest]

try not to masturbate in the theatre like you always do , there will be pretty ladies on screen with big boobs but no 'mean' looking 70's guys

[Mister Obvious]

I thought about bringing my vibrator, but that'd too fucked up even for me!!!

Fassbender IS pretty hot though!!!

Literally alone in here!!! So excited I'm literally shaking!!!

This popcorn and soda is HUGE!!!

15 fucking minutes before previews even start LMFAO.

I'm such a maverick!!!

Nothing better than having your choice of any seat in the house though!!!

Teehee!!!

I'm next to the aisle for quick escape though!!!

[Mister Obvious]

LOL, ALL new music is so God awful and cringey!!! LOL!!!

What the fuck is wrong with modern humans?!

Maybe this movie will explain...

[Mister Obvious]

It's gonna be so awkward when more people start coming in!!!

[Mister Obvious]

I'm so brilliant!!!

I even brought my own moist towelettes!!!

Yeah I'm THAT kinda chick!!!

[Mister Obvious]

This soda is WAY too big!!!

[Mister Obvious]

This chair needs a seatbelt.

[Mister Obvious]

LOL, all these commercials are so friggen dumb!!!

The sound is amazing in here!!!

This is gonna be cool as fuck even if the movie sucks!!!

[Mister Obvious]

Kinda cold in here!!! So glad I always wear long sleeves!!!

I'm a cold bitch!!!

It's 85 degrees outside!!! I'm wearing flannel!!!

Teehee!!!

I'm on a date with myself!!!

I love me!!!

[Mister Obvious]

6 mins. to showtime OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mister Obvious]

It's gonna be thunderstorming by the time I get out of here too!!!



MOOD THOUGH!!!!!

YAAAASSSS!!!!!

[Mister Obvious]

This is way too much popcorn!!!

Teehee!!!

I'm such a pig!!!

[Mister Obvious]

PREVIEWS ARE ABOUT TO START!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mister Obvious]

I'll have to put the phone away in a min!!!

I can't wait to share my thoughts about this movie!!!