"Ask not what Russian Bot can do for you...."

[user113]

Two people promised to bring me some food yesterday. Care to guess how many of them came through? They sure as shit don't mind knocking when they want something from me though, do they? If you're a middle-aged man in this world, you're nothing but a walking ATM.

[Mister Obvious]

Well...

You know...

I uh...

I got some turkey.

I’ll feed it to you.

If you promise to do me the way I like it.

[user113]

That's very kind of you, but I suspect you live too far away to make following through a practical reality. These other folks are in walking distance and couldn't be bothered.

[Mister Obvious]

Yeah that’s a good point.

Because trust me, if I had lived close to you and I said I was gonna bring you food...

I’d have brought you food come hail or high water.

I might not have stuck around long, but I’d have kept my word.

[user113]

I know you would've, sweety. You're like a real human being. LOL

[user113]

A dark horse enters. One of my neighbors, who wasn't one of the ones who promised me yesterday, just brought me two heaping plates from out of the blue.

[Mister Obvious]

I figured someone would drop by today...

Thing is it's a day late.

Like thanks and all but...

I needed you yesterday.

JMHO.

[Mister Obvious]

At least it wasn't one of the ones who said they'd come... that would have been pretty awkward.

[user113]

Nah, it's all good. I really wasn't expecting anything from anyone, to be honest. I wasn't born yesterday.

[user113]

Oh, here's fun. One of the ones from yesterday brought me two more plates after that. The mini-fridge is just about packed now. LOL

[Cream of Caulk]

Those plates of food are always the best! I love other people's foods, always taste so different from my own.

I'm glad you got something thoughtful.

[user113]

Those plates of food are always the best! I love other people's foods, always taste so different from my own.

I'm glad you got something thoughtful.

This dude that just came by is an awesome cook too. He was out there with two hardwood smokers going yesterday. I'm gonna fast until 1 or 2 o'clock tomorrow afternoon so I'll be nice and hungry for this setup.

[user113]

Then the first crew came back again with two slabs of pumpkin pie. I think they mean to fatten me up.

[Mister Obvious]

This dude that just came by is an awesome cook too.

I read this three times...

And the first two, it said "This dude that just came by has an awesome cock too."

[user113]

This dude that just came by is an awesome cook too.

I read this three times...

And the first two, it said "This dude that just came by has an awesome cock too."

I'll turn you over my knee if you don't behave, missy.

[Mister Obvious]

In all seriousness though...

I read it multiple times cuz I was just thinking like WTF, is he trying to troll me, why would he say that? LMAO!

[user113]

Admit it, you just had awesome cock on your mind.

[Mister Obvious]

I mean, always.

[americani]

be panimayete po angliski

[Mister Obvious]