Actual Thoughts I've Had, Verbatim...

[somethingelseishere]

Return of the hot, nerdy office chick in my head.

Chick: Do you really need those potato chips?
Me: Oooh, YOU again. 
Chick: I thought you were trying to "do better"?
Me: And I AM. Sooo??
Chick: Sooo they're nothing but fat & carbs!
Me: *locks eyes with her seductively and slowly places chip in mouth*
Chick: You disgust me.
Me: *crunches down loudly on chip*
Chick: Go on, if you don't care I certainly don't.
Me: Then why are you here?
Chick: You're the weirdo that keeps imagining me.
Me: Tooshay. *places another chip slowly into his mouth*
Chick: You are making me SO hot!
Me: That was a weird turn.
Chick: OK, you're a pig. You make me want to puke.
Me: Theeere's my girl.
Chick: We done here?
Me: Mmm, I'd say yeah...
Chick: Good. And hey, you really ought to imagine more effective motivational archetypes.
Me: Grab the corner of that desk, lean into it and shake that sweet bubble.
Chick: *does it*
Me: Nah, I'm good with You.
Chick: You really DO make me sick.
Me: *crams a handful of chips into mouth*
Chick: Urgh!! *storms out in a huff*

: )