10-31-2020, 01:47 AM
Another installment of Hot Nerdy Office Chick.
"The Gambler"
She walks by his door, and like always...
Boss: "Hey! Sexy? C'mere!"
She walks into the office speaking loudly to no one.
HNOC: "HR? Yes, I'd like to file a complaint against my pig of a boss. SEX-SHU-WUHL HUH-RASS..."
Boss: "Aww c'mon, you love it really!"
Chick stands in front of him, arms crossed, angry stare.
Boss: "Wanna play UNO?"
HNOC: "You've GOT to be fuc..."
Boss: "Nooo, seriously, let's throw down! I will wipe the FLOOR with that sweet, pink a..."
He catches himself, but only just. Her eyes squinting in disapproval.
Boss: "So, you wanna?"
HNOC: "Does this count as a break for me?"
Boss: "Absolutely not!"
HNOC: "You shuffling or am I?"
He reaches into his top drawer removing a deck of the infamous card game.
Slamming it down onto the desk, he looks up at his soon-to-be opponent.
Boss: "Bitch, I'm gonna fuck you UUUPPP!!"
HNOC: "Call me bitch one more time, that little talk to HR becomes real."
Boss: "Jesus, man, lighten up. It's just a game."
Chick pulls a chair up to the desk and pushes her glasses onto the top of her head.
Boss: "What, you don't need those to see?"
HNOC: "Uh, these are reading glasses."
Boss: "Well, you need to be able to read these cards?"
HNOC: "Dumbass, these cards are... they're fucking CARD SIZED! I'll be fine!"
Boss: "Why is it again that you can cuss me but I can't..."
She interrupts.
HNOC: "Cuz I'm a girl and it doesn't count."
The boss glares at her with incredulity. He picks up the deck.
Boss: "I'M shuffling."
HNOC: "Fine. It'll be the first thing you've actually done today."
Chick stands up and slams a fist down onto his desk.
HNOC: "Ooooooo, BURN, BITCH!!"
He stops shuffling, looks up at her and shakes his head.
Boss: "Am I gonna have to call security?"
Chick sits down and props her feet up on the desk awaiting her cards.
HNOC: "You certainly could... if you didn't let them ALL GO. Cheap bastard."
Boss returns to shuffling the cards.
HNOC: "Jeez, you trying to breed those cards? Deal, fucker!"
Boss: "Have you always been this way?"
HNOC: "It's why you hired me. Now drop out on those cards fuckboy."
Boss looks at Chick with bugged eyes. Then buzzes his secretary.
Secretary: [over desk intercom] "Yes?"
Boss: "Hey, can you make sure the break room is restocked with DECAF, TODAY?"
Secretary: "Sure thing!"
Boss: "Thank you!"
He looks at Chick shaking his head. He then deals them both a hand.
Chick is assembling hers while the Boss fans his out.
Boss: "There's NO way you're gonna beat me. So go ahead and bite down on that harsh reality, ok?"
HNOC: *grabs crotch* "Bite down on THAT, simp! You dealt so I go first. BOOM, Blue 9 bitch!"
The boss carefully looks for the best cards to play. He sees an ass-whuppin in the making.
Boss: "Alriiight, I think I've gotta... SKIP! REVERSE! DRAW TWO! DRAW TWO! DRAW FOUR!!!
Eat it, you hussy!!"
Chick looks at him, then at the cards, then back at him.
HNOC: "How refuckingtarded are you? You can't play ALL those at once, Spankface!"
Boss: "What the Hell are you talking about, of course I can!"
HNOC: "BullASSshit! Somebody needs to consult the goddamn rule book!"
Boss pauses a moment to think.
Boss: "That's actually a good idea!"
He searches the drawer for them.
Boss: "Theeeeey are not in here."
HNOC: "Not surprizing, they probably ran off with your initiative to work."
Boss: "Wow, is it lunch already?"
He looks around for a clock that doesn't exist.
HNOC: "Pussy scared of that ass-whuppin comin' down?"
Boss: "OK, I think we've had enough fun for one day. Why don't you go ahead and..."
Chick interrupts him again. Something she was becoming very good at.
HNOC: "Why don't I go ahead and knock your tiny little ping-ling into the dirt! BAMM, BITCH, EAT IT!!"
She screams at the top of her lungs as she jumps to her feet and chucks her entire hand of cards into the boss's face.
Boss: *sits quietly and sighs* "I suppose I deserve that."
HNOC: "WOOOOOOOOOOOO, FUCK! That shit felt GOOOOOOD!!!"
Boss leans back in his boss-man's office chair, wondering where he went wrong in Life.
Chick surveys the scene. There are UNO cards everywhere. She purses her lips together and sighs.
HNOC: "You're right, I think it IS lunchtime."
Boss: "You going to Alberto's?"
HNOC: "Yeeeaah, I think I'm feeling a meatball sub today. You want your usual?"
Boss: "Sure. Extra black olives."
Chick pulls her glasses back down, brushes her hair a little, adjusts her skirt and heads for the door.
Boss: "This was fun. We should do it again sometime."
Chick holds her right middle finger high in the air as she disappears into the hall.
Boss: *sigh* "Goddamnit, I may just have to marry that bitch."
HNOC: [from the hallway] "I HEARD THAT!!"
; )
"The Gambler"
She walks by his door, and like always...
Boss: "Hey! Sexy? C'mere!"
She walks into the office speaking loudly to no one.
HNOC: "HR? Yes, I'd like to file a complaint against my pig of a boss. SEX-SHU-WUHL HUH-RASS..."
Boss: "Aww c'mon, you love it really!"
Chick stands in front of him, arms crossed, angry stare.
Boss: "Wanna play UNO?"
HNOC: "You've GOT to be fuc..."
Boss: "Nooo, seriously, let's throw down! I will wipe the FLOOR with that sweet, pink a..."
He catches himself, but only just. Her eyes squinting in disapproval.
Boss: "So, you wanna?"
HNOC: "Does this count as a break for me?"
Boss: "Absolutely not!"
HNOC: "You shuffling or am I?"
He reaches into his top drawer removing a deck of the infamous card game.
Slamming it down onto the desk, he looks up at his soon-to-be opponent.
Boss: "Bitch, I'm gonna fuck you UUUPPP!!"
HNOC: "Call me bitch one more time, that little talk to HR becomes real."
Boss: "Jesus, man, lighten up. It's just a game."
Chick pulls a chair up to the desk and pushes her glasses onto the top of her head.
Boss: "What, you don't need those to see?"
HNOC: "Uh, these are reading glasses."
Boss: "Well, you need to be able to read these cards?"
HNOC: "Dumbass, these cards are... they're fucking CARD SIZED! I'll be fine!"
Boss: "Why is it again that you can cuss me but I can't..."
She interrupts.
HNOC: "Cuz I'm a girl and it doesn't count."
The boss glares at her with incredulity. He picks up the deck.
Boss: "I'M shuffling."
HNOC: "Fine. It'll be the first thing you've actually done today."
Chick stands up and slams a fist down onto his desk.
HNOC: "Ooooooo, BURN, BITCH!!"
He stops shuffling, looks up at her and shakes his head.
Boss: "Am I gonna have to call security?"
Chick sits down and props her feet up on the desk awaiting her cards.
HNOC: "You certainly could... if you didn't let them ALL GO. Cheap bastard."
Boss returns to shuffling the cards.
HNOC: "Jeez, you trying to breed those cards? Deal, fucker!"
Boss: "Have you always been this way?"
HNOC: "It's why you hired me. Now drop out on those cards fuckboy."
Boss looks at Chick with bugged eyes. Then buzzes his secretary.
Secretary: [over desk intercom] "Yes?"
Boss: "Hey, can you make sure the break room is restocked with DECAF, TODAY?"
Secretary: "Sure thing!"
Boss: "Thank you!"
He looks at Chick shaking his head. He then deals them both a hand.
Chick is assembling hers while the Boss fans his out.
Boss: "There's NO way you're gonna beat me. So go ahead and bite down on that harsh reality, ok?"
HNOC: *grabs crotch* "Bite down on THAT, simp! You dealt so I go first. BOOM, Blue 9 bitch!"
The boss carefully looks for the best cards to play. He sees an ass-whuppin in the making.
Boss: "Alriiight, I think I've gotta... SKIP! REVERSE! DRAW TWO! DRAW TWO! DRAW FOUR!!!
Eat it, you hussy!!"
Chick looks at him, then at the cards, then back at him.
HNOC: "How refuckingtarded are you? You can't play ALL those at once, Spankface!"
Boss: "What the Hell are you talking about, of course I can!"
HNOC: "BullASSshit! Somebody needs to consult the goddamn rule book!"
Boss pauses a moment to think.
Boss: "That's actually a good idea!"
He searches the drawer for them.
Boss: "Theeeeey are not in here."
HNOC: "Not surprizing, they probably ran off with your initiative to work."
Boss: "Wow, is it lunch already?"
He looks around for a clock that doesn't exist.
HNOC: "Pussy scared of that ass-whuppin comin' down?"
Boss: "OK, I think we've had enough fun for one day. Why don't you go ahead and..."
Chick interrupts him again. Something she was becoming very good at.
HNOC: "Why don't I go ahead and knock your tiny little ping-ling into the dirt! BAMM, BITCH, EAT IT!!"
She screams at the top of her lungs as she jumps to her feet and chucks her entire hand of cards into the boss's face.
Boss: *sits quietly and sighs* "I suppose I deserve that."
HNOC: "WOOOOOOOOOOOO, FUCK! That shit felt GOOOOOOD!!!"
Boss leans back in his boss-man's office chair, wondering where he went wrong in Life.
Chick surveys the scene. There are UNO cards everywhere. She purses her lips together and sighs.
HNOC: "You're right, I think it IS lunchtime."
Boss: "You going to Alberto's?"
HNOC: "Yeeeaah, I think I'm feeling a meatball sub today. You want your usual?"
Boss: "Sure. Extra black olives."
Chick pulls her glasses back down, brushes her hair a little, adjusts her skirt and heads for the door.
Boss: "This was fun. We should do it again sometime."
Chick holds her right middle finger high in the air as she disappears into the hall.
Boss: *sigh* "Goddamnit, I may just have to marry that bitch."
HNOC: [from the hallway] "I HEARD THAT!!"
; )
