11-01-2020, 02:34 AM
"When The Music's Over..."
Chick walks into Boss's office to ask him about some paperwork.
HNOC: *opens door, head down* "Hey, I was going over these..."
She looks up to see her Boss over in the far side of his office, standing on a tall bar-stool,
noose around his neck tied to a support beam. She drops all the papers to the floor.
HNOC: "Oh GOD NO!! STOP!!"
Boss: "Hey."
HNOC: "What are you doing? You can't... just wait! Don't do it!"
Boss: "Eeeh, I figured it was time..."
HNOC: "NO! You can't do this! Just wait a minute, let's talk about this, please!!"
Boss: "Naah, talk's for radio. I'm done. Gotta hop this train on outta here!"
Boss tightens the rope around his neck, starts wobbling the stool.
HNOC: "NOOO, YOU CAN'T!!" *runs towards him*
Boss: "Catch ya in the next life kiddo!" *kicks the stool away, body drops, rope tightens*
Chick grabs him around his thighs and tries desperately to lift him upwards.
He begins to make awful choking sounds. She begins to cry. What a way to start a Tuesday!
Boss: *swinging from rope, gurgling throat sounds*
HNOC: "Somebody HELP!!! PLEASE!!! ANYBODY!!"
Chick struggles to keep him lifted so as to reduce the pull on his neck, but to no avail.
Boss: *terrible choking sounds now morph into restrained giggling*
Chick looks up, Boss has both hands grabbing the rope that hugs his neck tightly.
Boss: *very obvious laughing sounds*
HNOC: "What, are, you.... are you Laughing???
Boss: *cackles like a chicken*
HNOC: "You're laughing???" *total shock and disbelief*
Boss: "OH MY GOD! Your FACE!! You should've SEEN it!!!
HNOC: "You SON OF A BITCH!!! You SON of a BIIITCH!! What the FUCK is the MATTER with you????"
Boss lets go of the rope around his neck and hangs, swinging freely.
HNOC: "You SICK SON of a BITCH!! I thought you were killing yourself!!
Boss: "Looked real as FUCK, didn't it??"
HNOC: "Oh my God, you SICK sack of BITCHES!! FUCK YOOOUUU!"
Boss: "It's one of those harnesses, like in the movies? Yeah, I got a buddy, he does stunt work in indie films."
Chick is absolutely OUTRAGED at this point. She's in tears AND as pissed as she can be.
HNOC: "Ya know, I thought the bondage-midget-Furry thing was fucked but THIS, Jesus Christ
on a snow-cone, you need help you sad, sick motherfucking son of a BITCH!"
Boss: "Aww c'mon, you gotta admit, this was one for the books! You totally thought I was biting it!"
At this point Chick is picking up everything in sight and throwing it at her horrible bastard of a boss.
HNOC: "I. TRIED. TO SAVE. YOUR. SORRY ASS. LIFE! You fucking BASTARD!!"
She throws another object with every word. Boy, she wasn't finding this funny AT all.
Boss: "Hey, c'mon now, it was a joooke, fuuuuck!!"
HNOC: "You lousy unfunny sack of shitburgers!!" *continues throwing things at him*
Boss: "OK, ok, okaaay!! I get it, it was kind of a fucked up thing to do, alright, shit, I'm sorry!"
HNOC: "You're SORRY?? OH FUCK YOOUU AAAAND YOUR SORRIES!!!
Chick gathers up the paperwork she dropped and heads for the door.
Boss: "OK, I've learned my lesson now, c'mon, help me down from here."
HNOC: "You can go FUCK yourself! You AND your fucking stunt harness!!"
Boss: "Don't be like that, I said I was sorry!!"
HNOC: "You make me SICK! I fucking HATE YOU!!"
Boss: "I'm sorrrrrrrryyyyy, I was only playing around, c'mon!!"
Chick storms out slamming the door behind her. Boss is literally left hangin.
Boss: "Heeey, come on nooow, help me down! This thing hurts! Come awwwwnn!!"
Little dark... but still kinda funny... to me.
Chick walks into Boss's office to ask him about some paperwork.
HNOC: *opens door, head down* "Hey, I was going over these..."
She looks up to see her Boss over in the far side of his office, standing on a tall bar-stool,
noose around his neck tied to a support beam. She drops all the papers to the floor.
HNOC: "Oh GOD NO!! STOP!!"
Boss: "Hey."
HNOC: "What are you doing? You can't... just wait! Don't do it!"
Boss: "Eeeh, I figured it was time..."
HNOC: "NO! You can't do this! Just wait a minute, let's talk about this, please!!"
Boss: "Naah, talk's for radio. I'm done. Gotta hop this train on outta here!"
Boss tightens the rope around his neck, starts wobbling the stool.
HNOC: "NOOO, YOU CAN'T!!" *runs towards him*
Boss: "Catch ya in the next life kiddo!" *kicks the stool away, body drops, rope tightens*
Chick grabs him around his thighs and tries desperately to lift him upwards.
He begins to make awful choking sounds. She begins to cry. What a way to start a Tuesday!
Boss: *swinging from rope, gurgling throat sounds*
HNOC: "Somebody HELP!!! PLEASE!!! ANYBODY!!"
Chick struggles to keep him lifted so as to reduce the pull on his neck, but to no avail.
Boss: *terrible choking sounds now morph into restrained giggling*
Chick looks up, Boss has both hands grabbing the rope that hugs his neck tightly.
Boss: *very obvious laughing sounds*
HNOC: "What, are, you.... are you Laughing???
Boss: *cackles like a chicken*
HNOC: "You're laughing???" *total shock and disbelief*
Boss: "OH MY GOD! Your FACE!! You should've SEEN it!!!
HNOC: "You SON OF A BITCH!!! You SON of a BIIITCH!! What the FUCK is the MATTER with you????"
Boss lets go of the rope around his neck and hangs, swinging freely.
HNOC: "You SICK SON of a BITCH!! I thought you were killing yourself!!
Boss: "Looked real as FUCK, didn't it??"
HNOC: "Oh my God, you SICK sack of BITCHES!! FUCK YOOOUUU!"
Boss: "It's one of those harnesses, like in the movies? Yeah, I got a buddy, he does stunt work in indie films."
Chick is absolutely OUTRAGED at this point. She's in tears AND as pissed as she can be.
HNOC: "Ya know, I thought the bondage-midget-Furry thing was fucked but THIS, Jesus Christ
on a snow-cone, you need help you sad, sick motherfucking son of a BITCH!"
Boss: "Aww c'mon, you gotta admit, this was one for the books! You totally thought I was biting it!"
At this point Chick is picking up everything in sight and throwing it at her horrible bastard of a boss.
HNOC: "I. TRIED. TO SAVE. YOUR. SORRY ASS. LIFE! You fucking BASTARD!!"
She throws another object with every word. Boy, she wasn't finding this funny AT all.
Boss: "Hey, c'mon now, it was a joooke, fuuuuck!!"
HNOC: "You lousy unfunny sack of shitburgers!!" *continues throwing things at him*
Boss: "OK, ok, okaaay!! I get it, it was kind of a fucked up thing to do, alright, shit, I'm sorry!"
HNOC: "You're SORRY?? OH FUCK YOOUU AAAAND YOUR SORRIES!!!
Chick gathers up the paperwork she dropped and heads for the door.
Boss: "OK, I've learned my lesson now, c'mon, help me down from here."
HNOC: "You can go FUCK yourself! You AND your fucking stunt harness!!"
Boss: "Don't be like that, I said I was sorry!!"
HNOC: "You make me SICK! I fucking HATE YOU!!"
Boss: "I'm sorrrrrrrryyyyy, I was only playing around, c'mon!!"
Chick storms out slamming the door behind her. Boss is literally left hangin.
Boss: "Heeey, come on nooow, help me down! This thing hurts! Come awwwwnn!!"
Little dark... but still kinda funny... to me.
