11-03-2020, 01:12 AM
Chick once again finds her boss being a retard...
"Terminus Retardus"
HNOC: *walks by office, smells something very strange, worried, enters*
Chick opens the door to a thick cloud of marijuana smoke.
HNOC: *slams door quickly* "Are you out of your mind??"
Boss: *taking a rip from a water bong, sobbing like a baby*
HNOC: "You've really gone too far this time! What the fuck are you even thinking??"
Boss: *tries to talk through the tears* "I'm dying, Chick, dyyyyinnng!!" *more sobbing*
HNOC: "What the Hell are you talking about?"
Boss: *points to print out on desk*
HNOC: *reaches for the paper and reads it*
Boss: "I went to my doctor last week for a check-up, said he'd email the results"
HNOC: *continues reading paper, now seeing the big picture*
Boss: "I got that today, printed it off..." *sobs*
HNOC: *begins shaking her head*
Boss: "It's the Cancer! They say I got the Cancer!!" *takes another rip and sobs some more*
HNOC: "You know what? I don't even know how to tell you this..."
Boss: "Oooh God, is it pancreatic?? OOOH JESUS, that's the worst kind!!"
HNOC: *really re-thinking her life choices*
Boss: "I don't know how long I got but I want you to have..."
HNOC: "DUMBASS, will you just listen a minute??"
Boss: *sobbing slows, he catches his breath* "What? What is it?"
HNOC: "You printed off your medical results??"
Boss: "Yeah, from my doctor..."
HNOC: "This is an ASTROLOGY report..."
Boss: "Whaaat?"
HNOC: "Astrology... zodiac signs?"
Boss: "So... ?"
HNOC: "So, moron, this doesn't say you HAVE Cancer, it says you ARE a Cancer, and they're not wrong!!"
Boss: *very high, not putting it together right away*
HNOC: "You're not dying of anything! Except terminal dumbfuckitis!"
Boss: "So, I'm not dying? I don't have the Big Casino??"
HNOC: "No, dipshit, you don't!"
Boss is extremely relieved. He jumps from his seat and chest-bumps the air several times.
HNOC: "Hey, hey, HEY!!"
Boss: "What? I'm HAPPY, I'm not dying!"
HNOC: "Hold that thought.."
The door swings open, it's Brenda, the head at HR. She's waving her hands to bat away the weed smoke.
Boss: "Oooooh... hey, Bren... how ya doin?"
HNOC: *to Brenda* "As pathetic as this is, I think it was actually an honest mistake. But, do what ya gotta do!"
Chick hands her the paper and walks out with a huge smile on her face.
"Terminus Retardus"
HNOC: *walks by office, smells something very strange, worried, enters*
Chick opens the door to a thick cloud of marijuana smoke.
HNOC: *slams door quickly* "Are you out of your mind??"
Boss: *taking a rip from a water bong, sobbing like a baby*
HNOC: "You've really gone too far this time! What the fuck are you even thinking??"
Boss: *tries to talk through the tears* "I'm dying, Chick, dyyyyinnng!!" *more sobbing*
HNOC: "What the Hell are you talking about?"
Boss: *points to print out on desk*
HNOC: *reaches for the paper and reads it*
Boss: "I went to my doctor last week for a check-up, said he'd email the results"
HNOC: *continues reading paper, now seeing the big picture*
Boss: "I got that today, printed it off..." *sobs*
HNOC: *begins shaking her head*
Boss: "It's the Cancer! They say I got the Cancer!!" *takes another rip and sobs some more*
HNOC: "You know what? I don't even know how to tell you this..."
Boss: "Oooh God, is it pancreatic?? OOOH JESUS, that's the worst kind!!"
HNOC: *really re-thinking her life choices*
Boss: "I don't know how long I got but I want you to have..."
HNOC: "DUMBASS, will you just listen a minute??"
Boss: *sobbing slows, he catches his breath* "What? What is it?"
HNOC: "You printed off your medical results??"
Boss: "Yeah, from my doctor..."
HNOC: "This is an ASTROLOGY report..."
Boss: "Whaaat?"
HNOC: "Astrology... zodiac signs?"
Boss: "So... ?"
HNOC: "So, moron, this doesn't say you HAVE Cancer, it says you ARE a Cancer, and they're not wrong!!"
Boss: *very high, not putting it together right away*
HNOC: "You're not dying of anything! Except terminal dumbfuckitis!"
Boss: "So, I'm not dying? I don't have the Big Casino??"
HNOC: "No, dipshit, you don't!"
Boss is extremely relieved. He jumps from his seat and chest-bumps the air several times.
HNOC: "Hey, hey, HEY!!"
Boss: "What? I'm HAPPY, I'm not dying!"
HNOC: "Hold that thought.."
The door swings open, it's Brenda, the head at HR. She's waving her hands to bat away the weed smoke.
Boss: "Oooooh... hey, Bren... how ya doin?"
HNOC: *to Brenda* "As pathetic as this is, I think it was actually an honest mistake. But, do what ya gotta do!"
Chick hands her the paper and walks out with a huge smile on her face.
