11-03-2020, 04:28 PM
"The Symphony"
Chick opens her boss's door to find yet another diabolically retarded scenario, already in progress.
HNOC: *sighs*
Boss: *standing in a fancy conductors outfit, leading an orchestra.... of monkeys.
Boss: "Hey! We were just warming up!"
HNOC: *sighs an 'Ooooh my God' under her breath*
Boss: "Pull up a chair, we're about to get cookin!"
Chick approaches the mass of primates, kind of amazed, in a weird sort of way*
Boss: "Cute, aint they?"
HNOC: "How did you get them to stay in their seats?"
Boss: "Velcro."
HNOC: "Oh God, Animal Cruelty on Line One!!"
Boss: "What? It's harmless!"
HNOC: "I'm not so sure PETA will see it that way!"
Boss: "Oooh Fuck them! Buncha arm-chair terrorists. Slacking hipsters on daddy's dime!"
HNOC: Seriously, you could get arrested for this!"
Boss: "What? I'm feeding them!" *pulls up huge sack of peanuts from beside his desk*
HNOC: "Uuh, I don't think they... nevermind. Jesus God help me, nevermind..."
Boss: "Always with the worry!"
HNOC: "Didn't your wife have you arrested once?"
Boss: "Ex... wife."
HNOC: "Oh, I'm sorry, I had..."
Boss: "It was six months ago, no big deal."
HNOC: "Ooookaaay... but didn't she?"
Boss: "No charges."
HNOC: "How'd that work?"
Boss: "They can't arrest a man for doing work on his own house!"
HNOC: "Aaaah, it's all coming back to me now."
Boss: "I was well within my rights!"
HNOC: "Wasn't that the time you tried wrapping your entire house in mylar? To make it look
like a big huge pot of Jiffy-Pop, for Halloween."
Boss: "She never had ANY vision!"
HNOC: "It was June!"
Boss: "I didn't know how long it would take! I was thinkin' about the kids!"
HNOC: *shakes her head, notices a foul odor in the air now* "Oh my God, what is that??"
Boss: "I dunno... oh God, wheeew, that's stout!!
Apparently, peanuts can give monkeys diarrhea. *not a medical fact*
HNOC: "Oooooh daaaamn, good luck with ALL that!!" *runs from the office*
Boss: "Why couldn't God have given pigs opposable thumbs??"
Chick opens her boss's door to find yet another diabolically retarded scenario, already in progress.
HNOC: *sighs*
Boss: *standing in a fancy conductors outfit, leading an orchestra.... of monkeys.
Boss: "Hey! We were just warming up!"
HNOC: *sighs an 'Ooooh my God' under her breath*
Boss: "Pull up a chair, we're about to get cookin!"
Chick approaches the mass of primates, kind of amazed, in a weird sort of way*
Boss: "Cute, aint they?"
HNOC: "How did you get them to stay in their seats?"
Boss: "Velcro."
HNOC: "Oh God, Animal Cruelty on Line One!!"
Boss: "What? It's harmless!"
HNOC: "I'm not so sure PETA will see it that way!"
Boss: "Oooh Fuck them! Buncha arm-chair terrorists. Slacking hipsters on daddy's dime!"
HNOC: Seriously, you could get arrested for this!"
Boss: "What? I'm feeding them!" *pulls up huge sack of peanuts from beside his desk*
HNOC: "Uuh, I don't think they... nevermind. Jesus God help me, nevermind..."
Boss: "Always with the worry!"
HNOC: "Didn't your wife have you arrested once?"
Boss: "Ex... wife."
HNOC: "Oh, I'm sorry, I had..."
Boss: "It was six months ago, no big deal."
HNOC: "Ooookaaay... but didn't she?"
Boss: "No charges."
HNOC: "How'd that work?"
Boss: "They can't arrest a man for doing work on his own house!"
HNOC: "Aaaah, it's all coming back to me now."
Boss: "I was well within my rights!"
HNOC: "Wasn't that the time you tried wrapping your entire house in mylar? To make it look
like a big huge pot of Jiffy-Pop, for Halloween."
Boss: "She never had ANY vision!"
HNOC: "It was June!"
Boss: "I didn't know how long it would take! I was thinkin' about the kids!"
HNOC: *shakes her head, notices a foul odor in the air now* "Oh my God, what is that??"
Boss: "I dunno... oh God, wheeew, that's stout!!
Apparently, peanuts can give monkeys diarrhea. *not a medical fact*
HNOC: "Oooooh daaaamn, good luck with ALL that!!" *runs from the office*
Boss: "Why couldn't God have given pigs opposable thumbs??"
