Scenes, skits and silly musings

[somethingelseishere]

"Bump In The Night"

Chick... she's a hottie. Boss... he's just weird.

HNOC: *enters the danger zone*
Boss: "Heey!! Just the person I wanted to see!"
HNOC: *starts walking out backwards*
Boss: "Aww Chick, you are one in a million!"
HNOC: "Just those words and your expression alone tell me everything I need to know!
Boss: "You wanna hear the news?"
HNOC: "You finally goin' to jail??" *high hopes*
Boss: "WE'RE GOIN' SQUATCHIN!!!"
HNOC: "Who the what??"
Boss: "Squatchin..."
HNOC: "I don't even know what that means."
Boss: "Sasquatch. Bigfoot."
HNOC: *breaks into hysterical laughter*
Boss: "Whaaaat??"
HNOC: "Ooooh my, so, you've finally taken the WHOLE bottle of pills!"
Boss: "This is almost a sport unto itself!"
HNOC: "Uh, yeah! For crazy people!"
Boss: "Whuuu, you don't believe??"
HNOC: "In Bigfoot?? NO! And neither should you. You've got enough problems!"
Boss: "There have been guhzillions of sightings since forever, you can't possibly not know this!!??"
HNOC: "What I know is that witnesses are usually named Jim-Bob and they smell like Southern Comfort!"
Boss: "That's so racist..."
HNOC: "Look, I don't care what You get up to, as long as it's not in here OR involving ME!"
Boss: "Is there a but coming?"
HOC: "AND you can choke on your little innuendos. NOT funny."
Boss: "So you're not goin Squatchin with ol' Bossy-poo??"
HNOC: "Please don't call yourself that. It makes me hurt in very deep places."
Boss: "The fresh air'll do ya gooood!"
HNOC: *cannot believe she's actually considering it*
Boss: "Could be the time of your liiiife?!?!"

Chick gives it some thought. Coming to the conclusion that it'd probably be better getting arrested 
outside of the office than there for everyone to see. 

HNOC: "What does this squatchin, as you call it, entail?"
Boss: *jumps from his chair and runs over to Chick* "I'm SO glad you asked!"
HNOC: *already regretting it*
Boss: "We got out into the woods and..."
HNOC: "Woods? How far? Like nobody can hear you scream far??"
Boss: "I don't know, we'll just have to see, anyway, back to what I was sayin..."
HNOC: "And does this happen during the daytime? I'm not sure I wanna be in the woods at night with You!"
Boss: "We go in, find a good spot, lay in wait until the dark hits and..."
HNOC: *walks for the door* "No, no, no, NO! This sounds like some kind of kinky rape fantasy and I'm not 
doing it! NO! Find yourself another victim for your weird little hobbies!?"
Boss: "We take cameras and tape recorders and when the beast arrives, Blammo! We get PROOF!!"
HNOC: *stands at door* "As easy as that huh?"
Boss: "YES, as easy as THAT!"
HNOC: "You DO know people have disappeared out there, doing this thing you want to do, right??"
Boss: "Eeeeh, amateurs!"
HNOC: "And you've been doing this professionally for...??"
Boss: "I'm tellin ya, in, out, done! We can make history AND cash in!! Total Win-Win!!"
HNOC: *really hates him now* "Let's just say, for the sake of INSANITY, that I go along with this.."
Boss: "Yeeeaah! That's my sugar-tits!"
HNOC: *closes eyes, shakes head* "Is this an all-night thing? Because I really don't care for sleeping outdoors."
Boss: "I dunno, maybe, depends."
HNOC: "On what?"
Boss: "When the hairy beast comes out of his cave!!"
HNOC: "I really hope you're still talking about a mythological apeman here..."
Boss: "This will be the single-most AWESOME experience of your boring-ass life!"
HNOC: "I blame you for all of this..."
Boss: "So, is that a yes??"

Chick sighs deeply, thinking long and hard about that bottle of cabernet and quart 
of Haagen Dazs she has at home. AKA: Her date night. Goddamn her Boss...

HNOC: "You touch my ass ONE time, I will stab you with a shrimp fork!"
Boss: "That's my GIRL!!"


TO BE CONTINUED...