11-05-2020, 10:12 PM
"The Salad"
Chick finds the old numbtard having lunch at his desk.
HNOC: "Oh my God, are you actually having a salad?"
Boss: "You say that like it's a first or something?!"
HNOC: "I've never seen you eat a salad before!"
Boss: "Eeeh, not my usual bang but..."
HNOC: "Usual bang??"
Boss: "Yeah, bang. Not my normal thing, not my bag, not a go-to. Why you sweatin' me ho'?"
HNOC: *disbelief* "Did you just call me a ho'?"
Boss: "I'm trying to broaden my dietary horizons..."
HNOC: "*clears throat* "I'm very surprized! Good for you!"
Boss: "Yeah, whatever... it's not great..."
HNOC: "Whatcha got in there?"
Boss: "Uh, chicken, croutons, little cheddar, bacon bits, ranch! Gotta have my ranch, Brotendo!"
HNOC: "Ya know, the purpose of having a salad is to not defeat the purpose of having a salad..."
Boss: "You tryin' to Oprah me?"
HNOC: "I'm just saying, you've got more of a pizza there than a healthy salad..."
Boss: "Eh, fuck it. I'm not enjoying it anyway..." *stands up, turns around and hurls salad at window*
HNOC: "What the Hell?"
Boss: "Well fuck me three times on Sunday, I could've SWORN that window was open!"
HNOC: *stares at colossal mess all over the window and floor*
Boss: *sighs* "Iiiii'm not cleaning that up."
HNOC: "Of course not, it's only your mess, in your office..."
Boss: "That cute little temp still here? Shayla? Whatever the fuck her name is?"
HNOC: "NO! I'm not sending her in here for that!"
Boss: "Why not? She's an employee??"
HNOC: "She's also 21, and doesn't need your bullshit scarring her for life!!"
Boss: "Well somebody's gotta clean this up!"
HNOC: "I'll get right on it!" *leaves office*
TWO MINUTES LATER...
Brenda [from HR]: "I'm told there's a problem in here??"
Boss: "Gaaaahdamn it Chick..."
; )
Chick finds the old numbtard having lunch at his desk.
HNOC: "Oh my God, are you actually having a salad?"
Boss: "You say that like it's a first or something?!"
HNOC: "I've never seen you eat a salad before!"
Boss: "Eeeh, not my usual bang but..."
HNOC: "Usual bang??"
Boss: "Yeah, bang. Not my normal thing, not my bag, not a go-to. Why you sweatin' me ho'?"
HNOC: *disbelief* "Did you just call me a ho'?"
Boss: "I'm trying to broaden my dietary horizons..."
HNOC: "*clears throat* "I'm very surprized! Good for you!"
Boss: "Yeah, whatever... it's not great..."
HNOC: "Whatcha got in there?"
Boss: "Uh, chicken, croutons, little cheddar, bacon bits, ranch! Gotta have my ranch, Brotendo!"
HNOC: "Ya know, the purpose of having a salad is to not defeat the purpose of having a salad..."
Boss: "You tryin' to Oprah me?"
HNOC: "I'm just saying, you've got more of a pizza there than a healthy salad..."
Boss: "Eh, fuck it. I'm not enjoying it anyway..." *stands up, turns around and hurls salad at window*
HNOC: "What the Hell?"
Boss: "Well fuck me three times on Sunday, I could've SWORN that window was open!"
HNOC: *stares at colossal mess all over the window and floor*
Boss: *sighs* "Iiiii'm not cleaning that up."
HNOC: "Of course not, it's only your mess, in your office..."
Boss: "That cute little temp still here? Shayla? Whatever the fuck her name is?"
HNOC: "NO! I'm not sending her in here for that!"
Boss: "Why not? She's an employee??"
HNOC: "She's also 21, and doesn't need your bullshit scarring her for life!!"
Boss: "Well somebody's gotta clean this up!"
HNOC: "I'll get right on it!" *leaves office*
TWO MINUTES LATER...
Brenda [from HR]: "I'm told there's a problem in here??"
Boss: "Gaaaahdamn it Chick..."
; )
