11-20-2020, 07:27 PM
"The Fortune Never Lies: Part II"
Chick and Boss get their shoes and find a lane. It's pretty dead. In fact, they're the only ones there.
Boss: "This looks like a weener, what d'ya think?"
Chick: "It's literally the exact same as all the other lanes, moron..."
Boss: "Good, she's already angry, very nice. Channel that into your game sweet-tits!"
Chick: "Just when I thought a bowling alley couldn't get any more gross..."
Boss: "Aaaay, how ya like this one, she's a beaut, ain't she?" *holds up ball*
Chick: "Yeah, a real hottie, kinda surprized you haven't taken her into the restroom yet!"
Boss: "Uh, these holes? Liiiiittle snug if ya know what I mean..."
Chick: "You have no idea how bad I wish I didn't..."
Boss: "So, we flippin' a coin or is it age before beauty?"
Chick: "By all means, roll that gutter-ball first Prince Dickless!"
Boss: "You will EAT those words!"
Boss rolls his ball hard and dead center, it's going... going... goooiinnng... STEEEEEEUUURRRIKE!
Boss: "Ooooooh, in your face BITCH!!" *jumps up, chest-bumps the air*
The employees look over with a little wtf on their faces. Right on, Boss... lol
Chick: "Can you not? Please? I've never been kicked out of anywhere before lunchtime.
Boss: "Get ready for two more you Jezebel!!" *does funky little dance*
Chick: *puts on her bowling shoes*
Boss: "Daaaaaamn, girl! You got some sexy ass feet!"
Chick: *closes eyes and shakes head*
Boss: "For real, you should take pictures and put 'em on a website!"
Chick: "No thanks, I'm NORMAL!"
Boss: "And by website, I mean my email address! *eyebrows*
Chick: "It's nice to know you're at least consistently disgusting..."
Boss: "Bowl pink cheeks!"
Chick: *lunges at Boss as she walks to the lane*
Boss: "Those tall white things at the end, you gotta hit those. As many as you can!"
Chick: *holds left middle finger up behind her back, then rolls*
Boss: "Ooooh shit, it's actually going towards the pins!"
Chick: *walks away confident* "Eat it, cockmunch!"
Chick has done it, matching Boss for a Strike! *yay*
The game wears on, Boss bowls a Turkey [three strikes in a row] and Chick garbles her last roll
with a gutter-ball. Boss is on his second beer. Chick is on her third or fourth set of nerves.
Boss: "So, eleven-thirty... you hungry?"
Chick: "I could eat."
Boss: "You want something in that mouth, don't ya?"
Chick: "I will KILL you, right here, right now! In front of *looks around* ALL four employees!!"
Boss: "Dayum, baby girl hangry as FUCK!"
Chick: "Aaaand the nausea returns!"
Boss: "Let's finish up here and hit the chink joint next door."
Chick: "Jeezus high-diving Christ, are you serious??"
Boss: "Fuck yeah, man, I love me some Chinese food!"
Chick: "No, I mean, you can't say... oh God, neverfuckingmind..."
Boss: "You're a strange ol' cookie, Chick. You ever thought about going into therapy?"
Chick: *mind implodes*
They tie up those loose ends and head over to *ahem* the Chinese food restaurant.
After being seated, they go over the menu.
Chick: "It's been a while since I've had Chinese."
Boss: *sits doing the funny pull-back thing with his eyes*
Chick: "STOP! Right now! I will fucking stab you in the FACE with a chopstick!!"
Boss: "Oh, who's the racist now??"
Chick: "Still You, butter-dick!"
Boss: *going through menu items* "Hey, they gotta specify which dishes are dog, right?"
Chick: "*facepalms* "Are you REALLY this retarded? Don't answer that, I already know!"
Boss: "Dude, it's like an FDA thing, they gotta TELL you what's in this shit!"
Chick: *shakes head* "Look, we're here to eat. This is a reputable place, there's no dog in anything, oK?"
Boss: "But how can you be sure? What if I just duck my head back there, pretend I got lost going to
the pisser? What could it hurt?"
Chick: *whisper-growls* "NO! You will do NO such thing!"
Boss: "Man, you younger generations got your tits on your sleeves!"
They both order and Boss somehow escapes offending anyone OR getting arrested. *yaaay*
After their meal, it is time to take the sacred journey of Fortune cookie. Cookies. There's two. Shut up.
Chick: "That was good, I'll have to remember this place is here."
Boss: "Not bad for almost-probably Rover."
Chick: *rolls eyes*
Boss: "Hey! Fortune cookie time!!"
Chick: "Nah, you go ahead, I don't like 'em."
Boss: "Really? Well ain't you a weirdo?"
Chick: *long deep breath* "That doesn't mean you can't have yours!"
Boss: "Naah, I take 'em home. Save 'em up til I have a dozen or so, THEN eat 'em!"
Chick: "And I'M the weirdo... ??" *shakes head*
Boss: "Oh shit, my watch!" *looking at wrist*
Chick: "Did you wear it today?"
Boss: "Yeah, fuck! I took it off to bowl."
Chick: "Seriously?"
Boss: "Yeah, centrifugal force and all that. Balance. Gets thrown off or something."
Chick: "You have GOT to stay off the internet..."
Boss: "Come on, grab your cookie and let's go!"
They get up from the table and walk to the door.
Boss: "Heh, I said grab your cookie! Hahaha..."
Chick: "Never fail to point out every last act of piggery, do ya?"
Boss: "Eeeh, you love me really..."
Chick: *makes eeewww face*
They hit the bowling alley so Boss can find his stupid watch. Chick stands by the shoe rental
desk and decides to go ahead and live a little... she opens her fortune cookie.
"You will find your true love in an alley."
Her eyes widen, she looks around to see if anyone is looking.
Then Boss appears with his watch.
Boss: "Oh my darling, I'm so glad I found you!" *looking down at watch*
Chick: *looking away, thinks Boss is talking to her, FREAKS out, turns to see what's really going on but gasps loudly before catching herself*
Boss: "Hey, you finally caved huh?"
Chick: "Uh what? Wha, what do you mean??"
Boss: "Your cookie! You opened it!"
Chick: *panics* "Oooh, that! Yeah, I just... ya know, it broke in my purse so I..."
Boss: "Well what does it say??" *reaches for it*
Chick: "Oh nothing! It's nothing! Just silly nothing, you know how these things are."
Boss: "Come ooooon! *grabs it, reads it* "An alley huh?"
Chick: *mortified*
Boss: "If I didn't know better, I'd think China was trying to call you a slut!"
Chick: *very nervous burst of laughter* "Yeah!! Those goddamn Chinese!!" *shocked at herself*
Boss: "Hahahaha, THAT'S the spirit!!" *slaps Chick on back*
They walk out and go back to the office. Chick is not really sure what just happened. Poor Chick.
Chick and Boss get their shoes and find a lane. It's pretty dead. In fact, they're the only ones there.
Boss: "This looks like a weener, what d'ya think?"
Chick: "It's literally the exact same as all the other lanes, moron..."
Boss: "Good, she's already angry, very nice. Channel that into your game sweet-tits!"
Chick: "Just when I thought a bowling alley couldn't get any more gross..."
Boss: "Aaaay, how ya like this one, she's a beaut, ain't she?" *holds up ball*
Chick: "Yeah, a real hottie, kinda surprized you haven't taken her into the restroom yet!"
Boss: "Uh, these holes? Liiiiittle snug if ya know what I mean..."
Chick: "You have no idea how bad I wish I didn't..."
Boss: "So, we flippin' a coin or is it age before beauty?"
Chick: "By all means, roll that gutter-ball first Prince Dickless!"
Boss: "You will EAT those words!"
Boss rolls his ball hard and dead center, it's going... going... goooiinnng... STEEEEEEUUURRRIKE!
Boss: "Ooooooh, in your face BITCH!!" *jumps up, chest-bumps the air*
The employees look over with a little wtf on their faces. Right on, Boss... lol
Chick: "Can you not? Please? I've never been kicked out of anywhere before lunchtime.
Boss: "Get ready for two more you Jezebel!!" *does funky little dance*
Chick: *puts on her bowling shoes*
Boss: "Daaaaaamn, girl! You got some sexy ass feet!"
Chick: *closes eyes and shakes head*
Boss: "For real, you should take pictures and put 'em on a website!"
Chick: "No thanks, I'm NORMAL!"
Boss: "And by website, I mean my email address! *eyebrows*
Chick: "It's nice to know you're at least consistently disgusting..."
Boss: "Bowl pink cheeks!"
Chick: *lunges at Boss as she walks to the lane*
Boss: "Those tall white things at the end, you gotta hit those. As many as you can!"
Chick: *holds left middle finger up behind her back, then rolls*
Boss: "Ooooh shit, it's actually going towards the pins!"
Chick: *walks away confident* "Eat it, cockmunch!"
Chick has done it, matching Boss for a Strike! *yay*
The game wears on, Boss bowls a Turkey [three strikes in a row] and Chick garbles her last roll
with a gutter-ball. Boss is on his second beer. Chick is on her third or fourth set of nerves.
Boss: "So, eleven-thirty... you hungry?"
Chick: "I could eat."
Boss: "You want something in that mouth, don't ya?"
Chick: "I will KILL you, right here, right now! In front of *looks around* ALL four employees!!"
Boss: "Dayum, baby girl hangry as FUCK!"
Chick: "Aaaand the nausea returns!"
Boss: "Let's finish up here and hit the chink joint next door."
Chick: "Jeezus high-diving Christ, are you serious??"
Boss: "Fuck yeah, man, I love me some Chinese food!"
Chick: "No, I mean, you can't say... oh God, neverfuckingmind..."
Boss: "You're a strange ol' cookie, Chick. You ever thought about going into therapy?"
Chick: *mind implodes*
They tie up those loose ends and head over to *ahem* the Chinese food restaurant.
After being seated, they go over the menu.
Chick: "It's been a while since I've had Chinese."
Boss: *sits doing the funny pull-back thing with his eyes*
Chick: "STOP! Right now! I will fucking stab you in the FACE with a chopstick!!"
Boss: "Oh, who's the racist now??"
Chick: "Still You, butter-dick!"
Boss: *going through menu items* "Hey, they gotta specify which dishes are dog, right?"
Chick: "*facepalms* "Are you REALLY this retarded? Don't answer that, I already know!"
Boss: "Dude, it's like an FDA thing, they gotta TELL you what's in this shit!"
Chick: *shakes head* "Look, we're here to eat. This is a reputable place, there's no dog in anything, oK?"
Boss: "But how can you be sure? What if I just duck my head back there, pretend I got lost going to
the pisser? What could it hurt?"
Chick: *whisper-growls* "NO! You will do NO such thing!"
Boss: "Man, you younger generations got your tits on your sleeves!"
They both order and Boss somehow escapes offending anyone OR getting arrested. *yaaay*
After their meal, it is time to take the sacred journey of Fortune cookie. Cookies. There's two. Shut up.
Chick: "That was good, I'll have to remember this place is here."
Boss: "Not bad for almost-probably Rover."
Chick: *rolls eyes*
Boss: "Hey! Fortune cookie time!!"
Chick: "Nah, you go ahead, I don't like 'em."
Boss: "Really? Well ain't you a weirdo?"
Chick: *long deep breath* "That doesn't mean you can't have yours!"
Boss: "Naah, I take 'em home. Save 'em up til I have a dozen or so, THEN eat 'em!"
Chick: "And I'M the weirdo... ??" *shakes head*
Boss: "Oh shit, my watch!" *looking at wrist*
Chick: "Did you wear it today?"
Boss: "Yeah, fuck! I took it off to bowl."
Chick: "Seriously?"
Boss: "Yeah, centrifugal force and all that. Balance. Gets thrown off or something."
Chick: "You have GOT to stay off the internet..."
Boss: "Come on, grab your cookie and let's go!"
They get up from the table and walk to the door.
Boss: "Heh, I said grab your cookie! Hahaha..."
Chick: "Never fail to point out every last act of piggery, do ya?"
Boss: "Eeeh, you love me really..."
Chick: *makes eeewww face*
They hit the bowling alley so Boss can find his stupid watch. Chick stands by the shoe rental
desk and decides to go ahead and live a little... she opens her fortune cookie.
"You will find your true love in an alley."
Her eyes widen, she looks around to see if anyone is looking.
Then Boss appears with his watch.
Boss: "Oh my darling, I'm so glad I found you!" *looking down at watch*
Chick: *looking away, thinks Boss is talking to her, FREAKS out, turns to see what's really going on but gasps loudly before catching herself*
Boss: "Hey, you finally caved huh?"
Chick: "Uh what? Wha, what do you mean??"
Boss: "Your cookie! You opened it!"
Chick: *panics* "Oooh, that! Yeah, I just... ya know, it broke in my purse so I..."
Boss: "Well what does it say??" *reaches for it*
Chick: "Oh nothing! It's nothing! Just silly nothing, you know how these things are."
Boss: "Come ooooon! *grabs it, reads it* "An alley huh?"
Chick: *mortified*
Boss: "If I didn't know better, I'd think China was trying to call you a slut!"
Chick: *very nervous burst of laughter* "Yeah!! Those goddamn Chinese!!" *shocked at herself*
Boss: "Hahahaha, THAT'S the spirit!!" *slaps Chick on back*
They walk out and go back to the office. Chick is not really sure what just happened. Poor Chick.
