Scenes, skits and silly musings

[somethingelseishere]

*theme music playing - Dean Martin's That's Amore*

Oooooh, there he is, back for more Sex Help wit Dr. Rocco.

Oh, I'm supposed to tell ya's I ain't no real doctah, those cocksuckas at public access cable 
really gotta hard-on for makin' that known, pricks. 

Anyway! We're back and tuhday we got Vinny DePruzio and his uh, prenatal insurrection. 

*whispers from off-camera* What? Oooh, sorry, premature saturation. *more whispers*

OH, premature ejaculation!  Alright let's get into dis!

Dear Dr. Rocco,

I've been wit my girlfriend for six months and everything is wonderful. 

Awwww, look at dis, young love. You stick it to her kid!! *does the Italian hand gesture for fucking*

But lately, my... how do ya say, train is rushing the passengers off before leaving the station.
What can i do?? Signed, Gone Too Soon

Whew, that's a tough one kid, we've all been dare. Well I mean, not me! But everybody else!
So, I think it's prahbly just a case uh nerves. You try havin' a drink before nestling the dinosaur
into its cave? That's usually helps. 

Maybe you could try jerkin' off before goin ova to her place? Relieve the tension on the suspension!
Just to kinda smooth ya out before lift off. You can look at ya tiddy books, watch ya porn, maybe look in
on the neighbor lady while she's getting dressed, somethin'. It don't matta, as long as you scratch that
fuckin' pre-itch so ya lady friend ain't gettin' short-changed on her bus ride to Screamsville, hooooo!

So you do dat, and get back wit me, alright? Thank you all again for tuning in to Dr. Rocco's
Sex Help Show! *whispers from off-camera* Hey go fuck yaself, I done said that shit at the start!

We'll see ya's next time!! Ooooooooooh!! *theme music plays show off the air*