11-24-2020, 07:18 PM
Oh madon! Dr. Rocco takes us on a journey - conspiring to "do da right ting"... God bless you, Dr. Rocco!
*theme music - Harry Chapin's Cat's In The Cradle*
Oooooh, there he is! What d'ya know, what d'ya say! It's anudda installment of Dr. Rocco's Sex Help Show!
Tuhday, we got a question from Gregory Maldone concerning... *looks at note card* starting a family!
So let's get into dis!
Dear Dr. Rocco,
Thank you for your question Gregory. Let me start by sayin' your Jets ain't had a team since the 70's!
Wake up and smell that empty coffee pot, ya poor bastid. It's the Giants or go fuck ya mudda!
Now, onto the bigger issue... Conceiving is a problem among many married couples these days.
I'm no doctah *looks hatefully to control room* but I know dis, if it's meant for you to pump out
a little one, then it'll happen. If not, thank ya lucky fuckin' stars! Kids can be a real headache!
*whispers from off-camera*
Oh, you think I'm gonna lie to dis poor prick? Eat a bagga hamster shit! Yeah, YOU Janice! I'm talkin' tuh YOU!
Greg, worse case scenario: You get a dog. Maybe a cat too, give the dog something to do.
Is it really da best idea to bring a child into the world we live in anymore?
Look around, shit has gone WAY down da tubes! Did you know there's nearly a million children that
go missing every year?? 800,000... How da fuck does that even happen anymore, with technology
and hovering parents? Not to mention most of them are never seen or heard from again! You want
that life?? And it's no mistake! These poor children are being preyed upon! That's right! I said it!
Our world is run by some sick fucks Gregory. I hate to bust your rose-colored bubble but it's true!
High-ranking government officials, upper tiers of the military and law enforcement, it's all been
infiltrated! Aaay! I back da Blue!! 100% - but if you think there's no child-abusing fucks walking
those halls at the FBI building, you're fuckin' lying to yaself!!
- OFF THE AIR SCREEN - WE'LL BE BACK SOON! -
[45 seconds later]
*screaming at control room*
Aaay! I'm not gonna tone it down! Fuck you! People need to know the truth and I ain't gonna be
part of the problem! Yeah I'm lookin' at you Larry! Ya pedophile-protectin' piece of shit! Nobody
wears glasses that thick unless they're hiding somethin', ya Bill Gates lookin' fuck!! Don't act indignant
Janice! I saw you blowing that cocksucka in his ragged-out Volvo in the parkin' lot last week! You disgusting who-uh!!
- OFF THE AIR SCREEN - WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK -
Well, that's gonna do it for Dr. Rocco's Sex Help Show tuhday folks. Seems like line-toeing is more
of a ting around heeuh dan I thought! *looks off-camera* Fuck all you's low-life pricks! I squirt far
better shit out my dick-hole into urinals!! Ya skeevy bastids!!
*no theme music play-off*
*theme music - Harry Chapin's Cat's In The Cradle*
Oooooh, there he is! What d'ya know, what d'ya say! It's anudda installment of Dr. Rocco's Sex Help Show!
Tuhday, we got a question from Gregory Maldone concerning... *looks at note card* starting a family!
So let's get into dis!
Dear Dr. Rocco,
Quote:Me and my wife are tryin ta have a baby, but we can't seem to get the recipe just right.
We don't wanna do dat IVF ting, so what would you recommend? Also, Go Jets!!
Signed, The Not So Trojan Horse [Gregory Maldone]
Thank you for your question Gregory. Let me start by sayin' your Jets ain't had a team since the 70's!
Wake up and smell that empty coffee pot, ya poor bastid. It's the Giants or go fuck ya mudda!
Now, onto the bigger issue... Conceiving is a problem among many married couples these days.
I'm no doctah *looks hatefully to control room* but I know dis, if it's meant for you to pump out
a little one, then it'll happen. If not, thank ya lucky fuckin' stars! Kids can be a real headache!
*whispers from off-camera*
Oh, you think I'm gonna lie to dis poor prick? Eat a bagga hamster shit! Yeah, YOU Janice! I'm talkin' tuh YOU!
Greg, worse case scenario: You get a dog. Maybe a cat too, give the dog something to do.
Is it really da best idea to bring a child into the world we live in anymore?
Look around, shit has gone WAY down da tubes! Did you know there's nearly a million children that
go missing every year?? 800,000... How da fuck does that even happen anymore, with technology
and hovering parents? Not to mention most of them are never seen or heard from again! You want
that life?? And it's no mistake! These poor children are being preyed upon! That's right! I said it!
Our world is run by some sick fucks Gregory. I hate to bust your rose-colored bubble but it's true!
High-ranking government officials, upper tiers of the military and law enforcement, it's all been
infiltrated! Aaay! I back da Blue!! 100% - but if you think there's no child-abusing fucks walking
those halls at the FBI building, you're fuckin' lying to yaself!!
- OFF THE AIR SCREEN - WE'LL BE BACK SOON! -
[45 seconds later]
*screaming at control room*
Aaay! I'm not gonna tone it down! Fuck you! People need to know the truth and I ain't gonna be
part of the problem! Yeah I'm lookin' at you Larry! Ya pedophile-protectin' piece of shit! Nobody
wears glasses that thick unless they're hiding somethin', ya Bill Gates lookin' fuck!! Don't act indignant
Janice! I saw you blowing that cocksucka in his ragged-out Volvo in the parkin' lot last week! You disgusting who-uh!!
- OFF THE AIR SCREEN - WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK -
Well, that's gonna do it for Dr. Rocco's Sex Help Show tuhday folks. Seems like line-toeing is more
of a ting around heeuh dan I thought! *looks off-camera* Fuck all you's low-life pricks! I squirt far
better shit out my dick-hole into urinals!! Ya skeevy bastids!!
*no theme music play-off*
