11-27-2020, 12:57 AM
Bada boom, bada bing! Anudda Uncle Rocco Special heeuh!! Kinda... not really... we'll see...
Rocco: *talking on phone* "Aay Carlo!"
Carlo: *other end* "Aay Rock, how goes it?"
Rocco: "Eh ya know, keepin' my dick up."
Carlo: "Ya gotta."
Rocco: "Look, the dream wagon's in da shop til Saturday, so I need a ride to da Home Depots."
Carlo: "You want me to take ya?"
Rocco: "No Carlo, I want you to ask ya neighba Mrs. Bendetti!"
Carlo: "But she doesn't drive anymore Rock."
Rocco: "Jeezus Christ on a milk carton, YES CARLO, I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME!!"
Carlo: "OK, take it easy. All ya had to do was ask."
Rocco: *hangs up*
Carlo: "You want me to come now? ... Hello? ... Rocky?"
Carlo "got the message" and drives over to pick up his friend Rocco. They drive to the local Home Depot
and find a peach of a parking spot near the door. Luckily, it's all above-board as Carlo has the handicap
parking tag thanks to his bad knee.
Carlo: "I love being able to park so close. Lot easier on my joints."
Rocco: "You gonna thank me?"
Carlo: "Fuh what?"
Rocco: "Are you serious??"
Carlo: "Yeah. Thank you fuh what?"
Rocco: *looks down at Carlo's knee, then up at him, then back to da knee and back up to him*
Carlo: "Oooh, you want me thank you for ruining my ability to walk more than two blocks?"
Rocco: "Come on Carlo! Wit-out me smackin' ya knee around, you wouldn't have dis blue tag of freedom heeuh!"
Carlo: "Jesus Christ, Rocky, how can you even think like that?"
Rocco: "Eeeeh, fuck it. You're welcome!"
They get out and walk up to the store. Rocco has to wait by the doors because Carlo is a slow-mover.
Rocco: "You should get one of those Rascals, ya know, mobilized scooters fuh old people?"
Carlo: "I'm only 59, dat's not old!"
Rocco: "Yeah, but 59 tuhday, 75 tomorrow!"
Carlo : *shakes head* "Hell of a friend you are!"
Rocco: "Come on, let's go see what these bastids got in heeuh!"
They walk down a few aisles before Rocco finds what he's looking for.
Carlo: "You puttin' up a fence?"
Rocco: "Not exactly."
Rocco is perusing their selection of chain link fence posts.
Rocco: "I think this one will do, yeah, I'll get this one."
Carlo: "What's it for?"
Rocco: "Oh, you will see my friend, you will see!"
They drive back to Rocco's and immediately go down to his basement. Game room. Podcast villa. Whateva.
Rocco: "I think I'll put it riiiiiiight here!"
Carlo: "Ya puttin' a strippa pole in ya game room?"
Rocco: "It's not a strippa pole!! It's for Festivus!!"
Carlo: "You been watchin' Seinfeld reruns again?"
Rocco: "Yeah, so! I love that show! They're some funny Jews!"
Carlo: "Uh, Rock, I don't think you can say dat..."
Rocco: "What? They are! They're funny! I love dat show!"
Carlo: "No, I mean about the udda."
Rocco: "What? Jews?"
Carlo: "Yeah. It's not right anymore."
Rocco: "But THEY'RE JEWWWISH!!"
Carlo: *shrugs*
Rocco: "Political correctness is a cancer, Carlo. You grew up wit me, you know betta."
Carlo: "Whateva. So, this festival pole - "
Rocco: "FESTIVUS! FEEESTIVUUUS!!"
Carlo: "OK, take it easy. What's it for?"
Rocco: "It is an alternative to Christmas. A very sensible one I might add!"
Carlo: "You don't like Christmas anymore?"
Anthony is just now at the bottom of the stairs.
Anthony: "Who don't like Christmas anymore?"
Carlo: "Aay Ant'ny, it's Rock. He's doin' this udda thing now. Festi-somethin."
Rocco: "FESTIVUS, ya retahd!"
Anthony: "What's wit da strippa pole? You gettin' some girls down heeuh?"
Rocco: "It's NOT a strippa pole! Jeezus barn-burning Christ! It's a FESTIVUS POLE!"
Anthony: "Looks like a strippa pole to me."
Rocco: "Well it ain't! So stop it!"
Anthony: "I know dis girl that does a few nights at the Bouncin' Betty, if ya want I could letta know?"
Rocco: "I'm not turning my basement into a strip club, ya toe-headed fucknut!"
Anthony: "Jeez, calm down already! OK! We get it!"
Rocco: "Do You??"
They stand looking at the plain, primer gray fence post as it leans up against the wall. It's only two feet
short of touching the ceiling. A few more trips to Home Depot and that pole will be ready for all the
holiday action Rocco can throw at it. How could dis go wrong??
ROFL... Good God, even I can't see what's next for these fucks! lol
Rocco: *talking on phone* "Aay Carlo!"
Carlo: *other end* "Aay Rock, how goes it?"
Rocco: "Eh ya know, keepin' my dick up."
Carlo: "Ya gotta."
Rocco: "Look, the dream wagon's in da shop til Saturday, so I need a ride to da Home Depots."
Carlo: "You want me to take ya?"
Rocco: "No Carlo, I want you to ask ya neighba Mrs. Bendetti!"
Carlo: "But she doesn't drive anymore Rock."
Rocco: "Jeezus Christ on a milk carton, YES CARLO, I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME!!"
Carlo: "OK, take it easy. All ya had to do was ask."
Rocco: *hangs up*
Carlo: "You want me to come now? ... Hello? ... Rocky?"
Carlo "got the message" and drives over to pick up his friend Rocco. They drive to the local Home Depot
and find a peach of a parking spot near the door. Luckily, it's all above-board as Carlo has the handicap
parking tag thanks to his bad knee.
Carlo: "I love being able to park so close. Lot easier on my joints."
Rocco: "You gonna thank me?"
Carlo: "Fuh what?"
Rocco: "Are you serious??"
Carlo: "Yeah. Thank you fuh what?"
Rocco: *looks down at Carlo's knee, then up at him, then back to da knee and back up to him*
Carlo: "Oooh, you want me thank you for ruining my ability to walk more than two blocks?"
Rocco: "Come on Carlo! Wit-out me smackin' ya knee around, you wouldn't have dis blue tag of freedom heeuh!"
Carlo: "Jesus Christ, Rocky, how can you even think like that?"
Rocco: "Eeeeh, fuck it. You're welcome!"
They get out and walk up to the store. Rocco has to wait by the doors because Carlo is a slow-mover.
Rocco: "You should get one of those Rascals, ya know, mobilized scooters fuh old people?"
Carlo: "I'm only 59, dat's not old!"
Rocco: "Yeah, but 59 tuhday, 75 tomorrow!"
Carlo : *shakes head* "Hell of a friend you are!"
Rocco: "Come on, let's go see what these bastids got in heeuh!"
They walk down a few aisles before Rocco finds what he's looking for.
Carlo: "You puttin' up a fence?"
Rocco: "Not exactly."
Rocco is perusing their selection of chain link fence posts.
Rocco: "I think this one will do, yeah, I'll get this one."
Carlo: "What's it for?"
Rocco: "Oh, you will see my friend, you will see!"
They drive back to Rocco's and immediately go down to his basement. Game room. Podcast villa. Whateva.
Rocco: "I think I'll put it riiiiiiight here!"
Carlo: "Ya puttin' a strippa pole in ya game room?"
Rocco: "It's not a strippa pole!! It's for Festivus!!"
Carlo: "You been watchin' Seinfeld reruns again?"
Rocco: "Yeah, so! I love that show! They're some funny Jews!"
Carlo: "Uh, Rock, I don't think you can say dat..."
Rocco: "What? They are! They're funny! I love dat show!"
Carlo: "No, I mean about the udda."
Rocco: "What? Jews?"
Carlo: "Yeah. It's not right anymore."
Rocco: "But THEY'RE JEWWWISH!!"
Carlo: *shrugs*
Rocco: "Political correctness is a cancer, Carlo. You grew up wit me, you know betta."
Carlo: "Whateva. So, this festival pole - "
Rocco: "FESTIVUS! FEEESTIVUUUS!!"
Carlo: "OK, take it easy. What's it for?"
Rocco: "It is an alternative to Christmas. A very sensible one I might add!"
Carlo: "You don't like Christmas anymore?"
Anthony is just now at the bottom of the stairs.
Anthony: "Who don't like Christmas anymore?"
Carlo: "Aay Ant'ny, it's Rock. He's doin' this udda thing now. Festi-somethin."
Rocco: "FESTIVUS, ya retahd!"
Anthony: "What's wit da strippa pole? You gettin' some girls down heeuh?"
Rocco: "It's NOT a strippa pole! Jeezus barn-burning Christ! It's a FESTIVUS POLE!"
Anthony: "Looks like a strippa pole to me."
Rocco: "Well it ain't! So stop it!"
Anthony: "I know dis girl that does a few nights at the Bouncin' Betty, if ya want I could letta know?"
Rocco: "I'm not turning my basement into a strip club, ya toe-headed fucknut!"
Anthony: "Jeez, calm down already! OK! We get it!"
Rocco: "Do You??"
They stand looking at the plain, primer gray fence post as it leans up against the wall. It's only two feet
short of touching the ceiling. A few more trips to Home Depot and that pole will be ready for all the
holiday action Rocco can throw at it. How could dis go wrong??
ROFL... Good God, even I can't see what's next for these fucks! lol
