12-06-2020, 04:46 AM
A little glimpse into my Sunday morning...
I'm standing at the microwave waiting on my homemade beef-a-roni to get warm enough to eat.
The old lady traipses in fresh off the walking machine and stands beside me. I look over and start to
run in place, like an idiot, she asks what I'm doing and I say joining in the morning exercise routine.
Shaking her head, she then goes on to fiddle with her FitBit? [is that what they're called?] and I open up
in my now BETTER THAN EVER New Jersey accent:
Me: "Aaay, when I do those leg lifts on da bed *shows with his fingers* I can really feel the burn in my ass cheeks!"
Her: *looks at me disgusted* "Don't talk like that..."
Me: "Whuuuu, what're you talkin' about?"
Her: "You know what I mean..."
Me: "You got something against the people of New Jersey?"
Her: "No it's those people, I can't stand them!"
Me: "You hatin' on Italians now??"
Her: "Those Sopranos, I hate them!"
Me: "Ooooooooh, the fuck you just say to me??" [ I totally didn't swear but it sounds hilarious so we're goin' with it! ]
Her: "Horrible show!"
Me: "Aaay! That's grounds fuh divorce!!"
Her: "Oh well..."
Me: *looks at you guys at home out there* "You hearin' dis??" [lmao]
Me: "You will be hearing from my attorney!"
Her: "I'm not even listening now..."
Me: "Makin' dat call..." *walks out*
Me: *on the phone* [not really, lol]
Other end of line: "Hello, you've reached the law offices of Saul Goodman & Associates..."
Me: "Hate The Sopranos!? How fuckin' frickin' DARE you!?"
Bwahhahahahahaha. Gotta love dem Sundays!! ; )
I'm standing at the microwave waiting on my homemade beef-a-roni to get warm enough to eat.
The old lady traipses in fresh off the walking machine and stands beside me. I look over and start to
run in place, like an idiot, she asks what I'm doing and I say joining in the morning exercise routine.
Shaking her head, she then goes on to fiddle with her FitBit? [is that what they're called?] and I open up
in my now BETTER THAN EVER New Jersey accent:
Me: "Aaay, when I do those leg lifts on da bed *shows with his fingers* I can really feel the burn in my ass cheeks!"
Her: *looks at me disgusted* "Don't talk like that..."
Me: "Whuuuu, what're you talkin' about?"
Her: "You know what I mean..."
Me: "You got something against the people of New Jersey?"
Her: "No it's those people, I can't stand them!"
Me: "You hatin' on Italians now??"
Her: "Those Sopranos, I hate them!"
Me: "Ooooooooh, the fuck you just say to me??" [ I totally didn't swear but it sounds hilarious so we're goin' with it! ]
Her: "Horrible show!"
Me: "Aaay! That's grounds fuh divorce!!"
Her: "Oh well..."
Me: *looks at you guys at home out there* "You hearin' dis??" [lmao]
Me: "You will be hearing from my attorney!"
Her: "I'm not even listening now..."
Me: "Makin' dat call..." *walks out*
Me: *on the phone* [not really, lol]
Other end of line: "Hello, you've reached the law offices of Saul Goodman & Associates..."
Me: "Hate The Sopranos!? How fuckin' frickin' DARE you!?"
Bwahhahahahahaha. Gotta love dem Sundays!! ; )
