12-25-2020, 02:58 PM
Hot Nerdy Office Chick comin' up in here tryin' to lean on ya boy... on Chrimmis!!
Me: *puts peanut M&M into mouth*
Chick: "What the Hell are ya doin?"
Me: *stops chewing, turns and stares*
Chick: *gives him the eyes*
Me: "Uuuuh, having some peanu -" *interrupted*
Chick: "Is that really necessary?"
Me: "Kinda."
Chick: "Are you serious?"
Me: *pops another one in*
Chick: "Urgh, those are so bad for you!"
Me: "Dude, it's CHRISTMAS!"
Chick: "How many are you gonna have??"
Me: "Uh, I don't know, MOM, maybe a handful?"
Chick: "You mean another handful..."
Me: "Why are you even here? Don't you have Boss to deal with?"
Chick: "Oh sweet dying Jeezus, don't even!"
Me: *another going in*
Chick: "Could you at least chew with your mouth closed??"
Me: "I AM!"
Chick: "Urgh! And why are you just eating the blue ones?"
Me: "Cuz, blue ones don't count."
Chick: "Who does what??"
Me: "They don't count. Calorie-wise. No negative impacts on your health."
Chick: "Who sold you that load of hornswoggle?"
Me: "I dunno... your MOM?"
Chick: "Why you gotta go there?"
Me: *shrugs, pops another M&M into mouth*
Chick: "Fine, I'll just sit and watch you eat yourself into a diabetic coma..."
Me: *one more in* "Last one..." *crunches down satisfied*
Chick: *gives me the famous squint*
Me: "That doesn't work on me."
Chick: *squints harder*
Me: "Squint 'til ya stroke on out, it doesn't work..."
Chick: "You're a bastard."
Me: "Only to you."
Chick: *groans*
Me: "You done?"
Chick: *sighs deeply*
Me: "Are you drunk??"
Chick: *giggles*
Me: "Jeezus drink-toasting Christ, you're drunk!"
Chick: "SO! It's Christmas! Ain't that what YOU said??"
Me: *looks at Chick slightly disgusted*
Chick: "What? You want some??" *puffs chest out, ready to brawl*
Me: *busts out laughing*
Chick: "You won't be laughing when I wipe the floor with you, cocksucker!"
Me: "Hey, yo... for real, that shit was priceless funny. Good job!"
Chick: "Fuck you."
Me: "Daaaamn. This is getting weird."
Chick: "I know. I need another drink."
Me: "Yeah, you probably do."
Chick: "What are you trying to say?"
Me: "Argh, just go find some mistletoe or something. Kiss yourself."
Chick: "Oh you WISH you could have some of this!!"
Me: *makes fake wretching sounds*
Chick: "FAG!"
Me: "What's that? Oh, it's your liver. Gasping for breath..."
Chick: "I'm sooo out of here!" *storms out*
Me: "Happy New Beer! Bitch..."
Chick: *holds up left middle finger as she leaves*
Me: *shakes head* "What does Boss see in her??"
: /
lol
Me: *puts peanut M&M into mouth*
Chick: "What the Hell are ya doin?"
Me: *stops chewing, turns and stares*
Chick: *gives him the eyes*
Me: "Uuuuh, having some peanu -" *interrupted*
Chick: "Is that really necessary?"
Me: "Kinda."
Chick: "Are you serious?"
Me: *pops another one in*
Chick: "Urgh, those are so bad for you!"
Me: "Dude, it's CHRISTMAS!"
Chick: "How many are you gonna have??"
Me: "Uh, I don't know, MOM, maybe a handful?"
Chick: "You mean another handful..."
Me: "Why are you even here? Don't you have Boss to deal with?"
Chick: "Oh sweet dying Jeezus, don't even!"
Me: *another going in*
Chick: "Could you at least chew with your mouth closed??"
Me: "I AM!"
Chick: "Urgh! And why are you just eating the blue ones?"
Me: "Cuz, blue ones don't count."
Chick: "Who does what??"
Me: "They don't count. Calorie-wise. No negative impacts on your health."
Chick: "Who sold you that load of hornswoggle?"
Me: "I dunno... your MOM?"
Chick: "Why you gotta go there?"
Me: *shrugs, pops another M&M into mouth*
Chick: "Fine, I'll just sit and watch you eat yourself into a diabetic coma..."
Me: *one more in* "Last one..." *crunches down satisfied*
Chick: *gives me the famous squint*
Me: "That doesn't work on me."
Chick: *squints harder*
Me: "Squint 'til ya stroke on out, it doesn't work..."
Chick: "You're a bastard."
Me: "Only to you."
Chick: *groans*
Me: "You done?"
Chick: *sighs deeply*
Me: "Are you drunk??"
Chick: *giggles*
Me: "Jeezus drink-toasting Christ, you're drunk!"
Chick: "SO! It's Christmas! Ain't that what YOU said??"
Me: *looks at Chick slightly disgusted*
Chick: "What? You want some??" *puffs chest out, ready to brawl*
Me: *busts out laughing*
Chick: "You won't be laughing when I wipe the floor with you, cocksucker!"
Me: "Hey, yo... for real, that shit was priceless funny. Good job!"
Chick: "Fuck you."
Me: "Daaaamn. This is getting weird."
Chick: "I know. I need another drink."
Me: "Yeah, you probably do."
Chick: "What are you trying to say?"
Me: "Argh, just go find some mistletoe or something. Kiss yourself."
Chick: "Oh you WISH you could have some of this!!"
Me: *makes fake wretching sounds*
Chick: "FAG!"
Me: "What's that? Oh, it's your liver. Gasping for breath..."
Chick: "I'm sooo out of here!" *storms out*
Me: "Happy New Beer! Bitch..."
Chick: *holds up left middle finger as she leaves*
Me: *shakes head* "What does Boss see in her??"
: /
lol
