02-07-2021, 02:20 AM
3:01 - 3:51 -- Piper is a female raccoon.
4:04 - Cat: "Fuck are you doin'?"
Raccoon: "Meeeooowww" *chips, chips, chips*
Cat: "You're not a cat."
Raccoon: "I haz noms." *chips, chips, chips*
Cat: "You shouldn't even BE indoors, let alone on the countertops!" *indignation*
Raccoon: "Nomz?"
Cat: "Fuck out my house bitch!!!"
4:15 - 4:17 -- Piper is now a male raccoon...
4:27 - Aww, kitteh haz chip. *nom, nom, nom*
5:02 - Ya damn skippy them chili-cheese Fritos are gonna win, fuck kinda contest is that?? *pffftt*
5:08 - 5:21 -- Aaaaand Piper is female again. *palms the face, twicely*
6:10 - "Raise up off muh chipz, bitdch!" lol
7:20 - 7:40 -- Yeah, I CAN see that... *totally unsanitary*
7:49 - 8:00 -- Not only do they have a RACCOON INNN their house, but ON their countertops.
Along with several cats, perched on every surface. TOTALLY not eating at these people's house. EVERRR!!!
9:42 - Sorry, I held my tongue as long as I could: Those Sun Chips are fucking NAST!!! Guhrooossss.
10:29 - 10:35 -- Them crunchy ASMR noms though... lol
Welp, I've come to a conclusion: I would 100% own an indoor raccoon. Yes. I would.
