I'd like to talk to you all about the quality of your shits...

[user328]

Besides being tasty and nutritious, it's hands down the best cure for constipation I've encountered.

For real.

I've never understood the compulsion to brag about one's shits before now, but after the gargantuan steamer I begat earlier today, I can see how some marvels of fecal composition are truly worth writing home about.

This must be what the fool who penned that famous Kelly Clarkson troll was talking about. It was impressive in both girth and length. It slid out so smooth and easy, I had no idea it was as big as it was until I looked down at the aftermath. I never imagined the human colon could gestate such a monstrosity. Surely a Guinness world record contender.