11-10-2022, 04:31 AM
They have a weekly group meeting with a couple of VA social workers on Wednesdays here at the house. There seemed to be an implicit assumption on the part of the social workers that the residents would get so bored or whatnot while the hospital is closed for Veterans Day on Friday that they'll resort to drugs and alcohol to amuse themselves. I found that a little bizarre. This house is supposed to be focused on helping veterans break the cycle of homelessness, if indeed they're caught in such a cycle. There's a whole other house across the street that handles the substance abuse angle.
Another thing leapt out at me that I found a little concerning. The group meeting was ostensibly intended to encourage sharing our opinions and thoughts on a number of matters related to recovery and self betterment. Yet every time I spoke up, the social worker leading the group would listen to three or four words then turn away and tune me out, as if desperately hoping someone else would chime in and drown me out. And of course one of the guys who like to hear themselves talk would inevitably do so in short order. This even happened when it was my turn to hold the conch shell, not just when I spontaneously chipped in my two cents worth. I started wondering why I was even there if nobody wanted to hear me speak. The female house manager does the same thing whenever I speak to her. Yes, this reaction is clearly directed at me and nobody else. I'm not imagining it. It reminds me of how my narcissist abuser would turn away and tune me out. Now I'm wondering if there's something about me that's so repulsive that people, and particularly women, feel uncomfortable engaging with me, even when it's their job to do so.
I don't require external validation so much that this kind of treatment is going to make my world crumble by any means, but it is truly puzzling and annoying.
Another thing leapt out at me that I found a little concerning. The group meeting was ostensibly intended to encourage sharing our opinions and thoughts on a number of matters related to recovery and self betterment. Yet every time I spoke up, the social worker leading the group would listen to three or four words then turn away and tune me out, as if desperately hoping someone else would chime in and drown me out. And of course one of the guys who like to hear themselves talk would inevitably do so in short order. This even happened when it was my turn to hold the conch shell, not just when I spontaneously chipped in my two cents worth. I started wondering why I was even there if nobody wanted to hear me speak. The female house manager does the same thing whenever I speak to her. Yes, this reaction is clearly directed at me and nobody else. I'm not imagining it. It reminds me of how my narcissist abuser would turn away and tune me out. Now I'm wondering if there's something about me that's so repulsive that people, and particularly women, feel uncomfortable engaging with me, even when it's their job to do so.
I don't require external validation so much that this kind of treatment is going to make my world crumble by any means, but it is truly puzzling and annoying.
