If you don't have one of these, you ain't livin' right...

[Mister Obvious]

So recently I'd purchased a 6 pack of those orange drain snake clog remover thingies.

The bathroom sink had been sorta sluggish on draining completely and today I was like okay, it's time.

Nothing...

AND I MEAN NOTHINGGGGGGG could have prepared me for the degree to which this sink drain had fostered what I can only describe as FUCKING SWAMP THING HIMSELF.

I CANNOT believe the sink even still drained, AT ALL.

In fact, I don't know HOW it did. How was it even draining? Whatsoever? HOW??

I used FOURRRR OF THEMMMMM.

Four.

On ONE DRAIN.

I'd snake it, marvel in disgust at the DARK GREEN CLUMP OF DEAD MATTER AND HAIR that was just gargantuanly wrapped around this orange zig zaggy genius contraption of the gods...

Then I'd turn on the water and TO MY SHOCK...

The fucking drain wasn't draining AT ALL.

So I'd stick another one in, successively pulling out BIGGER AND BIGGER CLUMPS OF MYSTERY MATTER, EVERY SINGLE TIME.

And finally...

The last one came up clean. Water was instantly draining, and the whole drain/pipe system even SOUNDED totally clear.

So I have this mostly clean orange drain snake contraption of the gods in my hand and I look over to the shower drain...

I'm like, it's time.

So I get a screwdriver, unscrew the drain cover, and I begrudgingly begin snaking it cuz I ONLY HAVE 2 OF THESE THINGS LEFT.

And it came out with just a totally normal clump of hair on the end. And water drained instantly and it was fine.

BUT THAT SINK THOUGH, LIKE HOWWW.

HOWWWWWWW.

I almost feel like that clump was a sentient fucking being that has now been DE-HOMED.

I am so freaking shook.

Like what the fuck.

Watch the fuck out because SWAMP THING is officially out there looking for a new unsuspecting drain to occupy and it could be yours.

Lock ya windows and doors and hide ya wife because that motherfucker is BIG, GNARLY and motherfucking CREEPER.