Intricate, elegant up-do hairstyles...

[Mister Obvious]

I used to keep my long hair 'just in case' I wanted to do something pretty with it at some point.

Sure I'll do that again in the future, but I know I'll basically never do diddly shit with it.

I can't be bothered to get my hair cut...

Not even like once a year.

Way too often.

I can't maintain any kind of hairstyle...

And why even bother?

I see no point in it.