If my phone is listening to me eat right now...

[Mister Obvious]

ROFL...

I've been eating tortilla chips, salsa, bean dip, cheese dip, guacamole...

For like half an hour.

With soda.

So much crunching, LMFAO I sound like a PIG...

Burping and sniffling (spicy) and laughing at myself because I keep imagining what it would sound like to someone surveilling me.

How disgusted they would be, and how fucked up that is because they're the one being a douche and spying in the first place.

Ahhh. So entertained.