Stephi Lee

[zenba]

rip yurt cobain

[Mister Obvious]

It'd be fine to live in a van in a barn.

I digress...

Seems like Stephi's content is really staggered over a long period of time because on her personal channel she's still talking about the van while she's really living in a house with that guy!

They look married!

Wonder if she's happy??

In my professional opinion, I think she should be pretty happy for the time being.

[Mister Obvious]

https://imgur.com/a/KXDIwbE

That's a screencap from their livestream, I doubt they'll leave it up but here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygprPxasNEw

They are ADORABLE together and look how cute Stephi is, oh my gosh!

[Mister Obvious]

I think it's completely understandable that Stephi struggles with her mental health now.

You gotta think about it...

Ever since she was a small child, she's been priming herself for death at a young age.

She never EXPECTED to live to be even the age she is now. She spent all those years learning to let life go, learning to accept that she would die, preparing herself in every single way that a person possibly could.

And now to have a new lease on life? Now to have a FUTURE? Wow, it must be incredibly strange and hard to grasp.

It makes perfect sense that she would struggle with it. It's almost like she has to deprogram all that programming she did to herself. It's almost like she may not even really know who she is in this new paradigm.

Yet, the flip side is that she SHOULDN'T completely deprogram herself from her comfort with death. She should hold onto that, to some degree, because it's an amazing perspective and strength she built up, that most people don't have.

She went through all of that so deeply and so profoundly, for a REASON.

Stephi should make sure to seek therapy and speak with (really good quality) psychiatrists and whatnot, just to have a professional perspective on what she's experiencing. And truthfully, I think Stephi herself could make a wonderful mental health professional someday. Or, you've heard of life coaches? Well, death coaches are a thing too. Stephi could do A LOT with the things she's strengthened within herself, and the knowledge that she has.

She could help others in the future. But right now, she should focus on getting some hours of talk in with a really good, carefully selected, maybe even specialized therapist/counselor/psychiatrist who is gonna be a really good source of insight and help her understand that what she's experiencing is completely normal.

Stephi's got a perspective that is so different from 90% of folks out there... and of course, it's a perspective that she also shares with many of the people who had cystic fibrosis that was successfully treated with this new drug. But those folks are probably hard to come across.

So she's gonna need to get some specialization going on in her life. She's a wonderful soul, so talented, and once she's armored up with the next level of understanding about her life and the situation, she'll be able to help others in a whole new way.

[Mister Obvious]

Also, another consideration could be that her boyfriend is like weird and controlling or something. If you notice, ever since they've been together, her rate of content production has plummeted. Maybe she feels like she can't make content because of him.

The fact that she wanted to go stay somewhere alone for a bit sort of shows that the solution to whatever is most prominently wrong in her life is to BE ALONE.

Though she's always had a lot of friends, I think Stephi's happy place is one of solitude. She's had a lot of time out there alone on the road, traveling, etc. She clearly loves that time alone with herself.

I dunno, I am just not a fan of romantic relationships. They're extremely limiting in the first place, suffocating as a norm. Stifling. They neuter you while also expecting that you'll still want to have sex at the same time. In my opinion, relationships are inherently a big inconvenience, and little more.

I don't think Stephi's ever seemed all that happy in life since she's been with her BF anyway... at first things were maybe fine, but it really has seemed like she's gradually become less happy over time. That's not to say her BF sucks (or maybe he does)... but really, we as individuals come first. If we're not doing okay within ourselves, no bandage is gonna fix that. It has to be fixed at the root... at the self. If anyone stands in the way of that or expects for them to be put first... pft. Fuck that.

So there's no way to know what the hell is really going on in her life. But whatever it is, she can get out of it. I dunno whose name is on their house or what's up with that... but there's nothing that is REALLY gonna tie her to the situation if she doesn't wanna be in it. If he sucks, she needs to be honest about it. If he doesn't suck, but she's just not happy in the situation, she needs to be honest about it. Stephi comes first.

A couple days at an Air BnB isn't near enough. What was keeping her from making it a week instead? Monetary restrictions, or relationship restrictions?

Cuz if it's money... the answer to that is apparent. Make more videos, make more art, sell things. If it's relationship restrictions... let that relationship go, and don't be fooled into thinking there's anything stopping you from it either.

[Mister Obvious]

I'm trying to figure out if she broke up with that dude who also had CF.

Maybe she totally did.

In that case, not sure who she was talking about in that newest vid when she said she needed to get away from distractions and whatever.

She also said she was taking advantage of cooking while she was there because she didn't know when she'd be able to do it again.

Where the heck is she even living then??

Can't figure it out from her Instagram either...

https://www.instagram.com/p/CWeQhPPPuHd

According to this pic from Nov. 2021, his name is Morgan, and the guy from that video on page 4 was Peter.

So no idea if she's still with the Morgan guy or WTF is going on there. Just saying she never seemed that happy after they moved into that house.

[Mister Obvious]

Just saying she never seemed that happy after they moved into that house.

Wasn't it in the coldass mountains too? Really depressing.

If I had that bitchin' as fuck van, I'd be living in Arizona.

[somethingelseishere]

I only watched the first two minutes of the video. Seeing that cold-from-the-jar pasta sauce
going on top of that freshly boiled spaghetti just straight fucked my night up.

[Mister Obvious]

Dude I'm honestly kind of glad you mentioned the spaghetti because I was literally eating spaghetti when I started watching the video, I was like WTF is this, some kinda sign!?

My spaghetti was like... insanely deluxe though. Mushrooms, peppers, onions, spinach, meat sauce, fricken bowtie pasta though. There are 1000 ways to make spaghetti. I typically go with the heartiest version possible these days because I loooove getting all that fiber with a meal that typically would have like zero fiber in it. One of the greatest life hacks ever... just add greens to everything.

[Mister Obvious]

I'm glad Stephi made this video and cleared up some of the questions/concerns the audience had.

I feel bad for her with regards to the house and the belongings, the pets, etc.

That stuff is so hard and emotionally taxing when it comes to breakups.

I would just let it all go... let anybody who wanted it come and get it, leave it there, whatever is easiest and feels right.

As for the pets, I'd let him keep them, let anyone who wanted them come and take them, or if worse came to worse, take them to the humane society.

If that sounds cold, you gotta understand something... this is about FREEDOM. It's about lifting the chains off your heart and soul. It's about nurturing your life so that you can be strong. The outside world is illusory. At the end of the day, all that is real is the CORE of your being. The tiny little place inside you where your soul resides. Everything else around that core is merely a projection.

Learn the lessons that these situations were trying to teach you, be grateful for the experience, and just know that when you walk away, everything will be okay. Life WILL go on for anything/anyone left behind, the world will continue to turn, and things will be taken care of. They will.

People will make you think that you're "abandoning" or that you're "heartless"... but it takes two to tango. If her BF doesn't like the way she's handling things, he's free to do what he wants. If he's got a plan for the belongings, let him take them. If he's got a plan for pets, let him take them. If he can do it better... then let him.

All that matters is what's on paper. If the house was rented, just get out of that agreement and don't pay it anymore. Drive off into the sunset. Nothing is truly trapping us. We ARE free. But there are plenty of people and other associations that are gonna try their damnedest to make us believe we aren't. It's only true if we accept it.

Stephi should be safe and don't linger at an old matrix for too long... going back to take care of biz can be okay, but it's dangerous to be alone with someone in a situation where love is ending. Don't have sex, don't fucking feel bad for him/her, and don't linger. Get your loose ends tied up, and the name of the game is ALWAYS when you leave out of there, make it so that there is no true reason under the sun that you ever have to return.

If anything needs to be signed, remember you can have it emailed, print it out, sign it in front of a notary, mail it off. As for belongings, material things... they shouldn't even be acknowledged. Whatever happens to them, happens to them. As for pets, don't let 'em pull on your heart strings. You have to be free.

So much love to Stephi... she's such a wonderful chick, and she should always follow her heart, ALL her days.

[Mister Obvious]

So Stephi says she broke up with Morgan, and she's now living in the van with her dog.

I have the video paused and I just want to share some of my initial thoughts...

Right off the bat, this strikes me as feeling right. You gotta keep in mind, Stephi's van isn't just some unfinished, cold metal interior van situation. It's actually finished in a very cozy way. It LOOKS like a mini house. It's very nice.

There are countless women and men who live in their vans, with their dog (and some even have a cat instead). As far as people who do mobile living, she has the absolute perfect setup. Vans ARE the ultimate mobile living vehicle. They're stealth and they're glorious.

Now she has the freedom to go anywhere in the US she wants to. That's a level of freedom and heaven on earth that few ever get to taste or understand. I've been there! And when I was, I chose to head out west. Doesn't really matter where she goes so much as it just matters that she keeps warm when it's appropriate (and cooled off when it's hot out).

As long as she's living in comfort temperately, there's nothing bad or dangerous about van life. It's a wonderful way to live, and she has the ultimate setup for it on every level... complete with a popular YouTube channel and therefore a way to make money online. She is living a wonderful life right now.

However, she was in a long term relationship that I'm guessing just didn't really go all that well, and she's gonna have to recover from that. It takes months to even begin to see through the hurt and disappointment. So people gotta remember to be patient during that time and just focus on themselves and maintaining their freedom.

Back to actually watching the video...

0:27 ah, man. I feel the sadness on that one. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt/mug/magnet, and the postcard. I know how it feels. It's sad as shit, it hurts real bad... but there's life beyond it.

It also hurts to see the dogs running around all excited. This is why I don't like dogs. I LOVE them. I adore them. I love all animals. (I used to say I didn't like coyotes... but I saw a baby coyote running around in the wilderness like a year ago, and I totally changed my mind. I love coyotes too.) But dogs... they really break my heart and buttscrew my soul. They're so unconditionally loving, and it's just heartbreaking. I have sworn off ever having any pets again... animals always find a way into your life somehow, be it outside cats or just whatever animal totem seems to hang around. I will feed and love outside animals, but I'm done taking on pets into the home.

In Stephi's situation, it's actually a good thing to have a dog with her in the van. The only thing that isn't so great about it is the necessity of walking it to use the bathroom. I personally don't get out of the vehicle during the night whenever I'm car camping at a rest area or some place like that. I just consider it a bit dangerous. But in Stephi's case, the dog is protection in and of itself, so having to get out to walk it probably isn't as dangerous. If I lived a mobile lifestyle, I would opt not to have any pets. It's just a personal preference... Stephi's an animal lover and loves dogs. I'm a cat person, so dog and cat people really just see things differently and have different needs.

0:48 if Stephi enjoyed living in a home, she really should take solace because someday if she wants to, she will live in a home (of her own) again. It's not gonna be the last time. And maybe next time she'll even get to be alone in it, and have things on her own terms. If she wants to, she could live in it by herself (with her dogs etc.) and not have to deal with a romantic partner being there at all. That house looks kinda big though, I think a smaller house would have a more cozy feel for her in the future.

1:00 so she put it in storage, she was taking apart a bed and everything. Yeesh it's a lot of work... I'm proud of her for getting it done though. Storage units are a good solution. If she decides she doesn't want the stuff and there's nowhere to put it, she could just sell the things, or let payments lapse on the storage unit and the owners get free stuff. I know that sounds insane/retarded to some people, but hey... remember our mantra here. Freedom. Nothing really binds us, and that's the truth. Absolutely nothing. Not on paper. Not in the mind. Not even in heart. We are all free, and we shouldn't accept the illusions that seek to make us feel otherwise.

1:20 oh that's cool, she got help moving all the stuff. I guess what's his name left her high and dry or something. If all the stuff is getting moved out of the house then I guess he's not there anymore. If that's the case then at least he didn't give her any trouble with it. Him skedaddling is a lot better than him putting up a fight.

1:40 in general, I just feel like the situation she experienced with her ex-BF brought her down really low. Seems like it really just took a lot of fire out of her engines and made her feel like shit. That's not to point the finger of blame at her ex or anyone else... it's not about that. Sometimes situations just aren't meant for us, sometimes we're just not meant to be with certain people, sometimes things just don't go together. Sometimes things just aren't right. It's not necessarily anyone's fault. I just feel bad for Stephi because I think it all was a really suck experience for her. I know how that kinda stuff feels, and it's sad. It really does hurt. But there's life beyond it, and better than ever too. I also know that.

I think Stephi has a lot of feelings. She's really deep and it just hurts that much more for people who have that 'still waters' thing going on. I wish her so much healing and comfort.

2:00 I know this is probably the wrong time, but her eyebrows look amazing. Like I was thinking that earlier but I just didn't say anything.

2:20 the one thing I'll say about her "let 'em down gently" approach here is NEVER get back together with an ex. Seriously. Once they become an ex, let that shit be forever. No, it's not necessary to blame them for anything, even if they DID really suck and they WERE the problem... it's not like we gotta carry that verdict around with us. It's okay to let it go and just remember the good times that were shared. But when it comes down to it, never forget that the whole situation failed for a reason, and never get back together with an ex. It never works out.

2:40 I love Stephi and I'm so glad she's still with us. I'm so glad that she gets to live and have a future and see more life. She really is so special. I know everything will be fine for her and she will feel better and heal from these experiences she's had.

She has had such a unique life, and it hasn't been easy... there have been so many hurtles to overcome both physically and mentally. You could spend the whole rest of your life recovering from a start like that. But I think the most important thing for her to focus on IS her health, her mental well-being, and just enjoying every minute of every day to the best of her ability. I don't think anybody (or any situation) should ever be putting any kinda pressure on Stephi ever again. If she encounters pressure, especially from PEOPLE... avoid. Avoid, avoid.

The whole rest of her life needs to be taken easy. She should consider herself retired... but on a deeper level than retirement usually means. For most people, it's just about jobs and careers. But for Stephi... it should be retirement from suffering and fear. We're all gonna encounter pain and other issues in life, in various forms... but if Stephi learns that anything brings suffering on her needlessly, she should make sure she avoids it for good. The rest of her life should be as easy as possible... even if she lives to be 100.

3:24 oh, she has a therapist! That's wonderful news. I love to hear that. Sometimes it can be hard to find a good one. I was telling a friend recently, mental health professionals are just people like anyone else. And we don't ALL get along with every single person, so sometimes you gotta look around a bit before you find a doctor etc. that you really jive with. This actually applies to all doctors and professionals. Sometimes it's so hard for people to get over the initial hurdle of getting help in the first place... we can get discouraged if we don't 'click' with a doctor. It's important to power through that and keep looking for the right fit though, so many wonderful doctors and mental health pros in this world.

One tool that I use to get the best help possible is to practice talking to the doctor. I make sure I walk through all the important info they need to know, and especially in the case of mental health, it's important to be very honest about every single thing and don't hold back anything out of embarrassment or feeling like it's too much. I just sort of have the conversation several times to myself, until I feel like I haven't missed anything important, then it's easier to talk about it with the doctor next time I see them.

6:35 yeah I'd just give them the stuff in the storage unit, lmao. Give it some months first though til I get tired of paying the bill.

7:28 TBH, Stephi's got balls of steel... I'm not worried about her. I'm hella proud of her in so many ways. I hope she makes more videos on her channel and goes traveling around.

8:25 awww, Stephi's such a youngster. It's always sad to turn the page, but the next chapter is full of great things so let's go.

8:50, ah, Love's travel center. America's home away from home. I'm a Pilot/Flying J girl, but I always love seeing a Love's.

When you get out there on the road and get a taste of that delicious freedom and expanse... it's hard to stop. I'm the type who drives off my hurt, so I probably would have ended up in New Mexico. Lmao.

Wow, I wrote a novella. K, I'm done.

(J/k.)

9:35 wow, since he was a puppy... awe, makes you realize how long Stephi and Morgan were together. It'll be an adjustment period for the dog, but he'll be fine. I wonder if that was the longest relationship Stephi's had? I guess it was about 2 years or so. I have had exclusively long term relationships and my longest was 8 years so I know it's hard to separate and it feels weird. I have so much compassion for Stephi. But like I said... exes are exes for a reason, so leave 'em in the past behind that rose colored lens and get yourself back together.

9:45 it's easy to tell that Stephi's an incredibly intelligent person with such deep thoughts. Wow, I'm so stoked to see more of her in the future and see where she goes from here.

10:20 she's so incredibly blessed to have that bitchin' van. I'd never let it go. For real. It's the kind of structure you can live in whether it actually runs as a vehicle or not. I believe in letting things go in life... but if I had a van like that? Pft. That'd be like the ONE thing I'd white knuckle no matter the fuck what. If I was Stephi, I'd save up some money and just buy a little piece of land somewhere that she likes. I know she has family who have a farm... it's not like she'd ever want for a place to park up. But she should get a small piece of land in a place where SHE likes to be. A place she enjoys scenically. That way she's got a claim staked, and she knows she can always park it up on that land no matter what. So important. Then if in the future she wants to put a structure on it, she could do that.

I'd take this opportunity to go balls to the wall with the freedom of mobile living, but I'd also balance that with the concept of a home base. A very economical piece of land fit for parking on in a place where no one will complain. Then maybe a structure to park under... like a carport. Then add another structure to it, like a shed for storage. Or maybe a shed to live in. Just little by little, populate the piece of land as a homebase with the structures she needs to contain her stuff while she's away. Of course wouldn't keep anything of too much value there in case it gets stolen... but it's the thought of a home base that counts.

So many potentials... the possibilities are endless.

[Mister Obvious]

0:09 look at that bitchin' view. Would you rather have a relationship, or access to that bitchin' view with only your dog and your own damn self? I think the choice is easy.

0:18 I'm not gonna lie, it would take me .5 seconds to get over that relationship, especially if I had a bitchin' van AND a dog AND the money to travel, lmao! But Stephi is nicer than me.

0:52 yeah Florida is not the place to be for mobile living.

2:40 ew gross, snow. Neverrrrrrr.

7:00 so apparently now Stephi's workin' the pole! Well I didn't see that one comin' but if she enjoys this method of exercise then fine. I'm not even gonna let my imagination run with all the possibilities...

Like traveling pole dancer, moving from place to place every month or two.

Just nah... not even gonna think about it.

But my issue with the pole as a dancing apparatus has always been its limitations. It's a single fucking pole. Vertical, no less. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?

I've said before that the ideal ground-based dancing/aerial apparatus is a 'staple shaped' situation, where there's your standard stripper pole, but then there's a pole running across the top, and then another standard stripper pole on the other side. So it makes a sort of staple shape. I think the stripper poles could be shorter too, like they only have to be 3 ft. or so taller than your average bitch, so 8 ft. high. Then across the top, the horizontal pole should be like 12ft. and then the other stripper pole at the other end, 8 ft.

That's the ideal pole dancing setup/apparatus.

Lyra hoop is also a really cool rig.

I'd just be going for the gusto circus style if I was gonna pursue dancing on an apparatus.

10:35...

So first of all, there's a big difference between "LOVE" and "RELATIONSHIPS".

Love is not real... the only love that exists is the love that you have for your parents, the love they have for you, and the love you have for your closest family members, and the love they have for you.

For A LOT of people, they don't even have good families. So you can just scratch all that shit I mentioned above.

For them, the only love that exists is the love they have with their dog (or cat).

Romantic love is bullshit. It's only hormones. It's only a trick to get us to reproduce. There is literally nothing more to it than that.

So it's fine to be with your partner and give all of yourself to them and do for them every day and night and set yourself aside... for them, that's GREAT! But as soon as reality sets back in and you remember "Hey, I'm an actual person." And as soon as you start trying to pay attention to your own self again, that's when you're "neglecting them" or you "don't treat them like you used to."

One way to avoid that ever happening in the future is to go into a relationship making it clear that you're your own person and you're not gonna slave away for them on every level, day and night... they're gonna have to do their own shit, have their own life, and honestly, leave you the fuck alone when you wanna be left the fuck alone. If they're not cool with that, then you have a user and a co-dependent, annoying person who will just suck the life out of you til you're haggardly and then bitch at you for being haggardly and make it clear no one else will ever love your haggard ass, so you better just stick with them.

Are you starting to see how this works?

There's no such thing as love in the romantic sense... it's a lot of things, mostly chemical, but it's not love.

Relationships are two people using each other. And typically, one of them gets used A LOT more than the other does. One is typically the main user, and the other is the 'supply'.

10:52 in a perfect world, yeah, "love" would have a balance. "Relationships" would have a balance. But that's not reality. Reality is that relationships will always be a pain, they will always have at least one 'giant purple elephant' of a totally UNWANTED element in them. Most relationships have several giant unwanted problems that just fuck everything up on a daily basis.

What everyone is searching for is PEACE within THEMSELVES. Love and togetherness, with THEMSELVES. WHOLENESS, within themselves. No need for ANYONE or ANYTHING else. That's what everyone is looking for. And they always think they can find it in another person, when the irony is, they CAN NEVER find it anywhere besides WITHIN THEMSELVES.

So Stephi is understandably not sure what to do with the immense amount of freedom she has... that's okay. She will find direction. But what she shouldn't do is get fucked up in the meantime.

As far as the pole dancing goes... I mean, okay. That's cool and all. But it does bring along a certain element with it, just by the vibe of it alone. These things are real. Vibes and spiritual/energetic denominations are real.

She needs to avoid seedy people, places, and activities in general. Stay the hell away from drugs and drink. Stay away from ALL that shit. That's 100% the wrong direction to take in life and it's best to nip it in the bud.

Stephi's life is rad and she needs to see that... take it SLOW AND EASY with your freedom and don't listen to ANYONE'S advice or direction if you wouldn't want to TRADE LIVES WITH THEM.

That's key...

Look at somebody, listen to what they're saying, look around at where this is taking place...

And ask yourself, "Would I want to be this person, would I want to trade lives with them? Would I be okay with that?"

If the answer is no, DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM.

Do not do what they're doing. Do not follow them.

I just feel like Stephi is more confused than she really needs to be at the moment and it's a vulnerable time. She should take it slow and be CAREFUL. Do not listen to the wrong people, do not do anything illicit whatsoever.

[Mister Obvious]

TBH, if I was gonna start out dancing on a rig, I'd go somewhere that offers a course in the silks.

There used to be a guy in eastern TN who offered a pretty baller silks class. I wanted to go there really bad, but it was just way too far to travel.

I'd take an 8 week silks course and deal with having to find somewhere to park it up.

But Stephi could do that anywhere... I searched up a silks training course in Arizona one time and planned to do that while I camped, I never ended up doing any of that. Lmao.

She could travel to wherever she wanted and take courses at the best places possible.

Just stay the hell away from Atlanta. It is the capitol of aerial and cirque in the eastern USA.

Totally unsafe area, and it's best to venture out west and take part in building up the cirque culture there instead. People in Atlanta have got it on lock... the west USA needs pioneers to get that shit going over in that neck of the woods.

[Mister Obvious]

Yeah I think the TN place was called Night Owl Circus Arts. They have Lyra and everything.

I dunno, it seems like there may have been another place around there that offered a little bit more personal training, but this was back in like 2018 or so, things may have really changed since then.

I just think if you're gonna go the pole route, look into some EXPANDED version of the entire art that takes the vibe up a very considerable notch.

Silks is very easy to start with, and if Stephi's doing upper body weight training on her own time, it'll be even easier for her. What you need is upper body strength.

One of the women I know who founded a massive HIGH CLASS cirque troupe around Atlanta started out as a pole dancer...

It's fine to start out there, but it's not fine to stay there...

You gotta graduate into something MORE, and not linger in the pole phase for too long. I'm sure that chick would tell you the pole era was like, not a great time in her life. Lol.

But I think the western states should be pursued in general, they're much better for traveling and camping. Drug addicts and shit like that won't be a huge problem, especially if you're not in So Cal. I'd stay the fuck away from Cali in general, but hit up the states like AZ, CO, UT. Flag or Sedona would be somewhere Stephi would fit in well and they'd probably offer the necessary courses too.

[Guest]

How the fak do u write so fast

[Guest]

I can't even read as fast as you type 0_0

[Guest]

Do you write books? IRL?

[Guest]

Do you know howany writers struggle to write a few pages a day. You can dish them out in a hour holy mama

[Guest]

Love is not real... the only love that exists is the love that you have for your parents, the love they have for you, and the love you have for your closest family members, and the love they have for you.

But your so young you got lots of time to find it
You seem negatively effected by love
Who has caused this ?
You don't actually believe this do you?

[Mister Obvious]

Do you write books? IRL?

I haven't written a book yet but hopefully someday I will do that.

Trying to write fiction doesn't really flow for me.

There are stories I want to write though, some spanning back a decade at this point.

I guess if it were all that important to me, I'd be doing it.