YouTube comments I dare not leave!

[Mister Obvious]

90% of the shit I laugh at is something that I SAID.

All day every day.

[Guest]

Bahahahah oh my God, you're so funny, c'mere... *kissy kissy*

You seem quite giddy today. Spring is in the air.

[Mister Obvious]

It was that Korean romance movie I watched lastnight...

It really changed my life.

[somethingelseishere]

It was that K-o-r-e-a-n romance movie I watched lastnight...

It really changed my life.

And ya can't have Korean w/o Karen. Or should I say "O, Karen!" lol

[somethingelseishere]

I remember having my yahoo account deleted years ago because of a comment I left on an article. I got sick of seeing stories about the fucking "royal baby" so I left a comment on one that I hoped it was stillborn. Some uppity Karen bitch lost her shit and reported me. She was going off about how I was a "horrible person" blah blah blah." It's like that baby was her's or something, geez. The best days of the internet are long gone.

I don't even bother trying to comment on news articles anymore.
They never get posted.

[Mister Obvious]

The "Karen" meme is sort of funny... not sure that's the name I would have chosen to represent that kinda person though. Maybe like Cindy or Susie or some shit like that.

[somethingelseishere]

Is that the "I need to speak with your manager" meme-thing?

That's totally a Pam chick right there.

"Uh, No! No ma'am, No sir, my name is Pam Austin and I need to speak to your manager!"

rofl

[Mister Obvious]

Bahahahahahaha. Yeah exactly.

Pam is a pretty good one.

I'm leaning toward Susan and Susie though.

[Mister Obvious]

Like ESPECIALLY "Susan" because you can say it with such spite.

[somethingelseishere]

Like ESPECIALLY "Susan" because you can say it with such spite.

"Uh, YES I have a problem with the service here and I need to speak to management!"

Man approaches miffed lady. "Yes ma'am, I'm the manager. How can I help you?"

"Hi, my name is Susan Jennings and I need you to...." 

Aaaaaaand she goes on to make known her list of demands, lmao.

[somethingelseishere]

I went back in to bold the name Susan... ya know, for spite purposes. lulz

[Mister Obvious]

You can hiss with the name Susan...

You can't do that with "Karen"...

Susan is clearly superior.

[somethingelseishere]

And the last name ending in "S" for extra hiss.

[Karen]

I remember having my yahoo account deleted years ago because of a comment I left on an article. I got sick of seeing stories about the fucking "royal baby" so I left a comment on one that I hoped it was stillborn. Some uppity Karen bitch lost her shit and reported me. She was going off about how I was a "horrible person" blah blah blah." It's like that baby was her's or something, geez. The best days of the internet are long gone.

[Rainbow Harvest]

https://www.listal.com/viewimage/16109080

[Guest]

You're not fooling anyone MO. : < )

[somethingelseishere]

I can't remember which video it was exactly that sparked this idea so I'll just have 
to post the comment I wanted to leave but didn't. It was months and months ago
when I had this idea for a comment. So I just today hammered this out from memory.
It was for a Frank Tufano video.

Let me start this off by saying this is in NO WAY meant to be mean to Frankie
or make fun of him or any of his family members. From what I've seen in his
videos his mother is a dear, dear lady and his sister is a real sweetheart. So I just
want to make my stance clear before posting. Frankie being an Italian, and a New York
Italian at that, I'm sure he's extremely familiar with the act of breaking balls.

This was all done in the spirit of good-natured comedy.
 

                              Frank's Video Day

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

FRANK TUFANO, a YouTube carnivore enthusiast, is about to hit
record on his camera. It's video day. Hell, everyday is video
day! Aaaaand ACTION!!

                    FRANK
          You know what's really starting to bother me?

Frank is interrupted by a light knock on his door that
immediately gives way to a slow opening. Sheepishly peering
in through the crack is his sister, GINA TUFANO.

                    GINA
          Frankie? Ma' wanted to know--

                    FRANK
              (annoyed, interrupting)
          Yes, Gina, I am STILL going to
          Whole Foods later. I already told--

                    GINA
              (interrupting)
          She wanted to know if you'd get her
          the fish, I think it was the
          salmon.

Suddenly, popping up out of nowhere next to Gina is Frank's
mother, MRS. TUFANO.

                    MRS. TUFANO
          It's the fresh salmon, Frankie, not the frozen. 
          Last time I think it was a little freezer-burned. 
          Your father barely touched his.

Frankie sighs deeply just as his father, MR. TUFANO, belts
out an opinion from the bedroom next door.

                    MR. TUFANO
                 (off camera)
          Don't get that frozen crap, it
          wadn't no good! Ya hear me Frankie?

Frank closes his eyes and shifts his would-be gaze towards
the floor.

                    FRANK
                (loudly)
          Yeah, pop, I hear ya. No frozen fish.

                    MR. TUFANO
                (off camera)
          And get a haircut! You're lookin'
          like a Puerto Rican who-uh!

Frank facepalms. Then addresses his mother and sister.

                    FRANK
          OK, OK, I got it, I don't have time
          for this. I'm trying to make
          today's video. Can you please
          excuse--

                    MRS. TUFANO
               (interrupting)
          You're doing a wonderful job
          Frankie. Your videos are fantastic.

Mrs. Tufano turns to look towards the bedroom door where her
husband is lounging, and then back to Frankie, as if to see
if the 'coast is clear'.

                 MRS. TUFANO (CONT'D) 
                 (lowered voice)
          And your hair looks great. Don't
          listen to ya father.

Growing slightly more impatient, Frank steps closer to the door.

                    FRANK
          OK, got it, now let me get this done.

Gina closes the door, only to slowly reopen it.

                    GINA
          There was one other thing.

Gina then pushes the door open wide, showing the outside of
the door where a large red dot had been drawn, with what
looks like a Sharpie marker, with the words 'ON AIR'
hastily scribbled beneath it.

Frankie and Gina both look up at the door. Then at each other.

                  GINA (CONT'D)
          Pop said could you please stop
          marking up the door. He's almost
          out of paint again.

Frankie is now a controlled explosion.

                    FRANK
          Gina, do you think what I'm doing
          here is a joke? Do you have any
          idea how much work goes into one of
          my videos? All the hours of
          research and fact-checking. Not to
          mention the abuse I get just trying
          to bring truthful information to
          people!

Gina is about to respond to her brother when again, as if on
some kind of invisible cue, out pops his mother.

                    MRS. TUFANO
          Honey, we know you're under a lot
          of pressure. You've got so much
          going on, working so hard. We get
          it. Just, could you maybe stop with
          the marker?. It's really stressing
          your father out.

Frankie sighs deeply and stares back towards his camera.

                MRS. TUFANO (CONT'D) 
                (lowered voice)
          He didn't want to say anything
          himself. He knows how much all this
          means to you.

She leans in to hug her son, giving him a quick peck on the
cheek before disappearing again into the hallway.

Gina and Frank stand silent for a brief moment.

                    GINA
          Your last video was great.

                    FRANK
          I'm closing the door now, Gina.

                    GINA
          OK, OK, sorry to bother you.

Frank pushes the door almost closed as Gina quickly reappears
in the space left open.

                     GINA (CONT'D)
           And the salmon, fresh not frozen, OK?

Frank throws his head back, staring up at the ceiling.

                     FRANK
          Jesus Christ, YES, Gina, fresh, I got it.

                     GINA
          OK, just making sure. Sorry. 
          I'll let you get back to your video.

Frank cracks a subtle yet sarcastic smile and begins to push
the door closed when a voice from the bedroom next door once
again rings out.

                    MR. TUFANO
                  (off camera)
            And stop markin' up my doors,
            Frankie, this ain't freakin'
            preschool ova here!

EXT. HALLWAY
The door closes fully. The red markings showing faintly in
the dim light of the hall. Pecking sounds can be heard from
inside Frank's bedroom. He returns to making his video.

                    FRANK
              (through the door)
          You know what's really starting to
          bother me?


                                                                  CUT TO BLACK:

[Mister Obvious]

Gina then pushes the door open wide, showing the outside of the door where a large red dot had been drawn, with what looks like a Sharpie marker, with the words 'ON AIR' hastily scribbled beneath it.

I didn't know you were a writer!!!

Damn...

There are some talented people here...

[somethingelseishere]

Well, I've only written one screenplay and two shorts [this "comment" being one of them.]
Ain't sold anything yet. Started "writing" in February 2017.

[Mister Obvious]

Oh wow!

Hats off to you for trying something new.