I want to start a pseudoscientific doomsday cult

[user328]

It doesn't appear to be all that difficult.




P.S. You can apply for cult victimhood in this thread.

[user328]

Da man is keeping y'all down.

[user328]

Da gubmint don't want y'all to know the real facts, which are these.

[Mister Obvious]

I kept trying to fill out the cult victimhood form but it kept timing out so I never replied to this thread cuz I was confused about how to feel and what to think.

[user328]

I was confused about how to feel and what to think.

That's understandable. I'll tell you all you need to know.

[user328]

All of those trained scientists are idiots. I know how things really work.

[Mister Obvious]

I'm not that easy, you'll at least have to flash me some sciency articles while you talk at length!!!

[user328]

I'm not that easy, you'll at least have to flash me some sciency articles while you talk at length!!!

I'll do that as soon as I find a scientist who agrees with my batshit theory. Hang on...

[user328]

I'll do that as soon as I find a scientist who agrees with my batshit theory. Hang on...

Here, these will explain everything.

https://imgur.com/a/UsE3VzB

[Mister Obvious]

OMG UR CLEARLY SO MUCH SMARTRER THAN ME SO I AM GONNA LOOK AT THE BIG SCARY CHART AMD SHAKE IN FEAR WHILE I BELIEVE WHATEVER YOU SAY

[user328]

That's the spirit!

Now that I've earned your confidence, it's time to reveal the part where all female cult victims must bump uglies with the cult leader. Standard practice, you understand.

[user328]

If you don't, bad things will happen.

[Mister Obvious]

Sorry, Suspicious0bservers just called me and said he's changed!!!!!!!!!!

[Mister Obvious]

HE SAYS IM THE ONLY ONEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[user328]

That's suspicious.

You mustn't listen to that hack, only to me.

[Mister Obvious]

IM NOT ON THIS THREAD RIGHT NOW OR READING OR LOOKING AT IT

I HAVE 100% GONE BACK OVER TO SUSPICIOUS0BSERVERS

[Mister Obvious]

STILL NOT LOOKING

[user328]

The Thunderbolts Project is more convincing and fascinating than he is, truth be told.

https://www.youtube.com/user/ThunderboltsProject

My favorite claim of theirs is that features on the surface of Mars were created by massive electrostatic discharges.

[Mister Obvious]

Yeah, the whole lightning creates canyons theory.

[user328]

It sounds really convincing the way they explain it. But I don't get how an electrostatic charge can build up between two objects in space when there's no friction between them. Did they explain that part?

And if this sort of thing really happens, why don't we ever see it happening?