Self-preservation tactics in relationships...
#1
Scholar 
As a romantic relationship wears on and the arguments and hurt feelings pile up into a blackened mountain of pain and misery...

People develop self-preservation tactics to protect them from future suffering.

They start to build a wall to defend against their partner... the goal being essentially to cut off the connection and be able to 'not care'.

Which is the antithesis of a relationship in the first place.

It only makes sense.

That's why it's clear and plain to see that relationships have a time limit...

Nothing is actually meant to last forever and both people have to be mature enough to let it go when it's time.
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#2
(05-24-2017, 09:45 PM)Trix Wrote: As a romantic relationship wears on and the arguments and hurt feelings pile up into a blackened mountain of pain and misery...

People develop self-preservation tactics to protect them from future suffering.

They start to build a wall to defend against their partner... the goal being essentially to cut off the connection and be able to 'not care'.

Which is the antithesis of a relationship in the first place.

It only makes sense.

That's why it's clear and plain to see that relationships have a time limit...

Nothing is actually meant to last forever and both people have to be mature enough to let it go when it's time.

wow , that could have been an opening monologue for 'thelma and louise' 

specially the first line , loved it !
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#3
Might be true to a certain extent but far short of a whole & complete picture, it's a very multifasceted topic
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#4
(05-24-2017, 10:02 PM)SIX Wrote: Might be true to a certain extent but far short of a whole & complete picture, it's a very multifasceted topic

I would argue that the assumed 'multi-faceted' or 'complicated' nature of relationships is really just over-complication and trying to make a deeper meaning out of something that is really pretty simple.

It's all co-dependency. Wrapping up issues that are individually based, in a relationship that provides attention diversion and deflection as a default. Relationships serve to distract people from coming into inward wholeness...

And usually the distraction just consists of a bunch of drama and unfair/impossible expectations... again mirroring the true issue, which is that understanding and quality which we would like to see in ourselves.
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#5
Love (like everything) evolves & takes new forms over time
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#6
But from micro to macro, everything is made up of the same patterns and cycles...

A love which grows sees hurt grow with it.
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#7
(05-24-2017, 10:09 PM)Trix Wrote:
(05-24-2017, 10:02 PM)SIX Wrote: Might be true to a certain extent but far short of a whole & complete picture, it's a very multifasceted topic

I would argue that the assumed 'multi-faceted' or 'complicated' nature of relationships is really just over-complication and trying to make a deeper meaning out of something that is really pretty simple.

It's all co-dependency. Wrapping up issues that are individually based, in a relationship that provides attention diversion and deflection as a default. Relationships serve to distract people from coming into inward wholeness...

And usually the distraction just consists of a bunch of drama and unfair/impossible expectations... again mirroring the true issue, which is that understanding and quality which we would like to see in ourselves.

I definitely recognize that what you say has validity in many cases, to some extent or another but I definitely don't think it is one size fits all, bonds come in many shapes & sizes and it's been said friendship is the highest octave of Love
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#8
(05-24-2017, 10:12 PM)Trix Wrote: But from micro to macro, everything is made up of the same patterns and cycles...

A love which grows sees hurt grow with it.

The nature of life itself is one that sees hurt grow with it
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#9
(05-24-2017, 10:16 PM)SIX Wrote: it's been said friendship is the highest octave of Love

It certainly is...

I would suggest friendship is the only worthwhile thing...

Love in friendship is more valuable than romantic love because there are no heavy expectations and there is limited responsibility.

Expectations and responsibility ruin all carefree things in life.
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#10
There is very little to argue on your last point
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#11
And I am not trying to imply that relationships (any of them) should be 'carefree'... life itself is never 'carefree'. That is just reality.

But my point is essentially...

Everyone idealizes romantic love, when really, it's just a chemical reaction... it is a mechanism to facilitate reproduction.

Having said that, since life feeds on life and everything depends on the reproduction of all these lifeforms we find ourselves in the middle of...

The allure of reproduction is deeply instilled within us, and the matrix itself will respond to the 'need' for that reproduction.

This can result in the 'magic' of romantic love. That mystical kind of feeling, the circumstances that seem 'divine' which lead us to people we want to be with.

It's not actually magic, it's not actually wondrous. It's really just the matrix responding to the demand of reproduction...

And for that reason, what's disguised as something 'lovely' and oh so 'precious' is actually a total trap.

This is the honest truth.
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#12
To be clear I didn't impose or strawman any extra thoughts on your argument, you were very specific and in being so leftmany avenues untraveled while covering the paths you did cover accurately
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#13
The tendency to continue seeking romantic love after reproductive years are over is akin to zombies gathering at the mall in Dawn of the Dead.
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#14
Does the lady have an extensive history of romantic relationships? People who speak from personal experience are more credible on the topic...no?
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#15
Obviously... I'm 27, it's not like I've been living under a rock. I did the long term thingy. And I'm also a good observer. You CAN learn from other people's mistakes...
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#16
(05-24-2017, 09:45 PM)Trix Wrote: As a romantic relationship wears on and the arguments and hurt feelings pile up into a blackened mountain of pain and misery...

People develop self-preservation tactics to protect them from future suffering.

They start to build a wall to defend against their partner... the goal being essentially to cut off the connection and be able to 'not care'.

Which is the antithesis of a relationship in the first place.

It only makes sense.

That's why it's clear and plain to see that relationships have a time limit...

Nothing is actually meant to last forever and both people have to be mature enough to let it go when it's time.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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