"Gunsmoke" (1955) - Review & Commentary

[Mister Obvious]

Like when you can Google every single episode and even be provided with an air date?? There's nooo excuse for mixups.

[Mister Obvious]

I could easily tolerate episode titles getting mixed up... but for the box set to have duplicates makes me sad in the pants.

Realistically, it's sort of exciting because it means even at the completion of this box set (which, I meeean, there 15 more seasons and we haven't even gotten to the hour episodes yet, sooo) I still will not have seen EVERY episode of Gunsmoke due to these mixups.

As I work through the box set, I will absolutely outline every single fucking thing wrong with it...

[Mister Obvious]

Turn away if you don't wanna see me beat a dead horse ad infinitum but...

As I was quality checking the box set, one DVD after the other after the other...

I thought to myself, SOME OF THIS PRODUCTION (whether it's compiling, printing, quality checking) DEFINITELY took place during a Mercury retrograde and I just wonder how and when it's gonna be apparent, lmao.

And here we are.

As I was going through each DVD, certain discs/seasons had that Mercury retro energy on them. I could sense when the compilation/production was influenced by the cosmic trainwreck that is Mercury retro, when it started to even out and be normal again, etc.

Anybody can call me full of shit and crazy if they want, it's like a compliment to me at this point. But I'm just saying... the shit is real.

[Mister Obvious]

The only legitimate issues I have found with the box set yet are the subtitles being wanktastic on some of the early seasons, DVDs printed with slightly erroneous versions of the true episode titles, that first episode mixup we ran into, and then the one we discovered lastnight.

Considering we're only up to season 5, that's kind of a high rate of shit going wrong if you ask me.

Hmmm.

Well, one thing's for sure...

If I live long enough to watch this entire box set, the answers to absolutely everything wrong with it, AND prettymuch everything else about Gunsmoke ever will be discussed in this thread.

Does that turn me on?

Fuck yes it turns me the fuck on...

[Mister Obvious]

Shameless, unapologetic obsession defines my life.

[Guest]

Yeah I probably wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't watched both episodes in close proximity. I see Pluto is also in retrograde...not sure what that means but maybe that is their problem.
Your commentary is awesome and Gunsmoke really is a great show...I hadn't seen it before and it gave me something to talk about with my Dad- he has a couple dvds and said his dad was a fan back in the day

[Mister Obvious]

Gunsmoke is like a classic Americana historical treasure...

Over the years, I've heard a lot of America haters (globalists, fascists, general enemies of the west) claim that America "has no culture"...

Well that's absolute BS. Not only is it rich with its own stand alone, unique brand of culture, but it's some of the coolest history around if you ask me. The "wild west" thing definitely doesn't appeal to everybody... but I guarantee that the people who are drawn to it feel it on a soul deep level.

It's like people fancying the notion that they had a past life in Egypt or as a Viking or any other historical culture/mythos that has been popularized. The fact is, increasingly as time moves on, the American old West will be legend in the same way. It's fairly new compared to ancient world history like Egypt, or the Norse, etc. But eventually, it'll receive just as much attention as they have.

Gunsmoke will be the holy grail. Think about it... what if film existed back in the ancient Egyptian era, and those materials had been preserved and were still viewable? How much deeper and intense would the fascination with that era have been in modern times? Imagine if people could SEE the historical figures we can only dream of... Tutankhamun, Cleopatra, heck, even Caesar.

Sure, Gunsmoke is just a fictional representation of the wild American west era... but if it's preserved properly and it continues to be made available, it will practically become the visual Bible of old west culture for people in the future who are attracted to that era and will live their lives romanticizing it.

[Mister Obvious]

Gunsmoke, to me, is a soul healing experience.

After all the rank, nasty, downright evil shit we've been subjected to in all forms of media for the past several decades, watching Gunsmoke is like a mind/soul/body purifying experience.

It's extracting all the cancer from my psyche and burning it away.

[Mister Obvious]

I recently found out that there's an entire line of estranged extended family on my great grandpa's side whose identities remain a mystery and probably always will. He had a wife and several children that he left behind when the Dust Bowl hit. He relocated, started a new family and never spoke of them again. They were from Kansas, and I'd bet my other favorite copper coin I know which part.

The attraction that I have to the historical American west goes deep.

[Mister Obvious]

Today's wild west nerd candy...

https://www.sectual.com/thread-17130-pos...#pid155090

[Mister Obvious]

Alright, so...

Season 5, Vol. 1, Disc 1 is in the following order:

1. Target
2. Kitty's Injury
3. Horse Deal
4. Johnny Red
5. Kangaroo
6. Tail To The Wind
7. Annie Oakley

The order SHOULD be...

1. Target
2. Kitty's Injury
3. Horse Deal
4. Johnny Red
5. Tail To The Wind
6. Annie Oakley
7. Kangaroo

[Mister Obvious]

So the episode IS there, it's just out of order.

[Mister Obvious]

S5 E5 - "Tail to the Wind"

1:08 oh wow, these two are terribly likable... *eye roll*

4:10 well I guess they got fuckin' told.

5:12 "Nevermind, Cora, what do ya say we go on inside and have ourselves some afternoon delight?"

8:27 that's a pretty badass shirt.

9:10 if I was his wife, I'd sit on his face until he complied with the Marshal. Guy's a lil too passive for my liking.

11:26 is her fuckstick husband gonna do something now?? I can't stand these "turn the other cheek" types... obnoxious.

12:30 they're totally gonna kill his wife.

12:45 Matt's "mmhmm" and "uh-huh" game is off the chain lately. He's starting to get all stern and serious.

13:52 "Burke, you're nothin' but scum to me." Lmao.

14:22 he's trying to bait him into drawing down... that's hot. Our fearless Marshal.

15:40 lol Matt is world-weary as shit these days.

16:45 I'll tell you what I feel like tonight... *gyrates*

17:10 you know tragedy ain't far behind whenever there's a scene like this, lol.

18:06 pft, patch up your manhood if there's any left. I think Cora deserved a better husband, but she settled.

18:50 to me it seems like they're making a statement about how ridiculous it is to pray (sometimes) instead of actually doing something.

19:42 so I guess this is the part where they come and rape his wife.

21:00 I felt that.

21:47 see, Doc called that Matt's all serious and shit now too.

22:16 Pezzy Neller, lmao what a name.

22:50 OHHHH. FUCK. Lmao!?!??!?!!??!!? What?! The fuck!?

[Mister Obvious]

S5 E6 - "Annie Oakley"

1:00 damn, that mirror dirtier than hell!

1:12 "What do you think yer doin'?!" WTFFF!!! "Thinkin' about turning some tricks down at the Long Branch after I kill you!" Lmfaofmafafoalfaol.

1:50 does that say "The Primrose Hotel"?? I thought the Dodge House was the only hotel in Dodge.

1:53 uh oh... looks like she's sizing up a new man, and that's a fine lookin' one too! Lickety split!

2:58 "I might even let him fuck me for free!"

4:10 damn! Looks like we've got a bad girl on our hands.

4:28 the heck is she up to??

4:55 is it just a plot to get him killed??

6:00 aw man, I'm thinking her scheme isn't really gonna work out.

6:10 I was waiting for him to say something like that... TBH I agree with him. I figured maybe she had a future as some discount derriere down at the saloon, but now I'm thinkin' nah.

7:48 the Amber Heard of Dodge City.

8:33 "You've sure changed your ways!" Lmao, Kitty's drinking tea.

15:40 "Were you and Doc drunk lastnight?" lolololmfao.

16:26 dude this lady is straight up delusional.

16:50 I really don't even understand what her goal with this whole thing was.

17:17 did the guy reject her and this is how she's getting back at him??

19:50 "Wasn't... too good of coffee." Rolfmaofamfoaflaoflolol.

21:48 lmao SAAAAAAME.

23:10 embarrraaaasssiiinnngggg.

24:50 that's what I suspected, lol, thank God.

[Mister Obvious]

S5 E7 - "Kangaroo"

0:28 "Just looking at a grave, you can't tell if it holds a good man or a bad one. But if you saw the man himself while he was alive, you could tell easy. Out here on the frontier, where there's little law and less civilization, the bad in a man grows fast and deep. There's not much to stop it, and there's a whole lot to encourage it. Some men grow strong with adversity, but a few become as cruel and inhuman as the bitter elements of nature that surround them. It's because of these vicious few that I'm here. Matt Dillon, US Marshal."

1:38 "Now you wouldn't wanna get fat would ya?!" roflmfalol! Hell no!

4:36 damn this guy's got some righteous facial hair. Incredible eyebrows!

7:50 this plot has kind of been done before on the show. Super religious dude catches his son in the saloon and kicks his ass.

10:38 this dude better stand up for himself or he's doomed to be a pussy all his life.

15:20 saw that one comin' from a mile away. Honestly, these guys are just doing what the rest of us wanted to do if Chester started singing that song one more time, lmfaooo.

23:48 Dal's too good looking to be family with them anyway.

[Mister Obvious]

S5 E8 - "Saludos"

0:52 oo damn, that's the most scantily clad chick we've seen on the show yet!!!

3:48 this is good camera work though, I love the angle.

4:00 ooOooOoo, riding double with Marshal Dillon, fuck yeah!!!!!!!!!

4:47 you can't tell me that's not his dick.

8:04 Kitty's makeup is fire.

22:02 ermergerd, it's Boot Hill!!!

[Mister Obvious]

S5 E9 - "Brother Whelp"

0:45 oooOooOooo, mighty pretty titties on this one!!! Dress looks like it's got nipple holsters on it!!!

1:35 lmao look how excited she is about some ribbon... honestly, relatable.

5:30 three years, why Lord that's an eternity.

6:00 lmao, this guy.

6:20 well, I mean, if his brother is willing to share...

7:45 neither one of 'em are really my cup of tea, but if it's a twofer, I guess I'd settle.

8:10 oh I bet she was all over it... *dancing banana*

10:50 "Chester, poverty is good for the soul." lmao!

12:00 that's a nice suit.

13:48 it's pretty sexy seeing Doc handle a deck of cards.

15:09 oh I can open anytime for you baby!!!

15:35 sexy as fuck to see these two playing cards.

16:04 they're using period appropriate playing cards, 1860s Samuel Hart & Co. cards, now called the Saladee Reproduction deck... https://www.amazon.com/Saladees-Patent-R...B01M0JWOQ0 https://www.wopc.co.uk/usa/hart/index

17:00 the music has been upgraded a lot this season.

21:36 Matt has like a zero bullshit tolerance lately.

23:20 too bad Sted can't stick around... some extra dick is always needed.

[Mister Obvious]

S5 E10 - "The Boots"

4:07 check out those baller pewter plates.

4:12 first 'flashback' sequence we've ever seen on the show.

5:40 "Gunman loses his nerve, he loses everything, Kitty."

The show is definitely different this season. Nothing bad... but definitely different, seems to be an upgrade in some facets of quality. A change in Marshal Dillon's seriousness. Kitty's makeup seems to be different. Just some changes here and there.

9:35 poor kid, having to deal with an alcoholic.

10:00 that little feller better go into town and talk to Marshal Dillon.

25:15 pretty badass ending.

[Mister Obvious]

S5 E11 - "Odd Man Out"

Oh shit, I didn't have anything to say about this one?!

[Mister Obvious]

S5 E12 - "Miguel's Daughter"

1:03 this lady's pretty good lookin'.

3:06 lmao this fakeass brick wall bending in.

4:00 lol, Miss Kitty knows how to reel 'em in.

4:20 I'd like to have some of those bitchin' eggs.

5:45 "In this case I won't mind a bit," OHOHOHOHOHOOOOH. Damn you know, sometimes I forget Miss Kitty and the marshal are a thing.

8:40 some ladies are so fine, they can't even walk around Dodge City without bodyguards!

9:30 ah man, well these tards are done for.

11:40 lol it's kinda fucked up that they're just shit talking Chester like that when he's not even there =\

13:16 imagine Doc getting brought into this shit by himself... *cringe*

16:28 "I do not worry... I wait."

16:58 "Well I gave him a bucket of water... told him he could do anything he wanted to with it." roflfmfoamaoflaol.

19:30 PLOT TWIST: Miguel's already got that guy tied up somewhere. ROFLMFAOLOL.

22:17 "Effervescent" roflmfaolol.

23:46 imagine that fineass hunk of man walking through your door... *heart eyes*

25:20 you know, we don't get to see the back of his head that often... looks sexy.