Actual Thoughts I've Had, Verbatim...

[Guest]

I see what she means.

[Mister Obvious]

"I feel like that guy is scary as shit."

[Guest]

“That’s some footage I’d like to massage.”

[Guest]

Gatorade should show a man peeing in their bottles , everybody is doing it and it keeps us from urinating in bushes and parking lots

[somethingelseishere]

"Kellyanne Conway looks like the 60 year old lovechild of Beavis and a hot swimsuit model."

[somethingelseishere]

"Guy Fieri's the kind of dude that would use tartar sauce as lube."

[somethingelseishere]

"Imagine you sell your soul for fame & fortune but end up being Maroon 5"

[Mister Obvious]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAHAHHHHH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOOHHOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[somethingelseishere]

"Why the FUCK does EVERY goddamn YouTuber these days squawk out the same
tired old simpering line 'Don't forget to Like, Share & Subscribe!' in EVERY fucking video
like I'm some kind of slack-jawed, toe-headed retard that can't make those decisions 
for myself? SHOULD their content warrant such actions. Which in an alarming percentage
of the time, does NOT!" 

Time machine -- 2010 -- nip this dumb-as-fuck bullshittery in the bud!

[somethingelseishere]

"Oh man, she's got that ULTRA-sexy, soft, little young-mommy-double-chin..."

[Mister Obvious]

A guy who's into double chins!?



Hey baby how YOU doin'!?!?!?!

[somethingelseishere]

ROFL. Hey, they land firmly in soft-curves territory!

[Mister Obvious]

[somethingelseishere]

"Man, motherFUCK some goddamn communal tips! That ripoff bullshit can eat chinchilla taint!!"

[somethingelseishere]

"And fuck some HOA bullshit too! I ain't tryin' to get strong-armed
by some uppity's just cuz I don't wanna live in the fuckin' hood!"

[ETCyn]

“It’s like she’s spinning out of control all of a sudden.”

[somethingelseishere]

"Man, fuck this crick in my neck!"

[Mister Obvious]

lolol

[Mister Obvious]

"I'd MUCH rather fuck a used car salesman."

[somethingelseishere]

"I'd MUCH rather fuck a used car salesman."

"Nothing says trust like a pinkie-ring!" lol