Actual Thoughts I've Had, Verbatim...

[Mister Obvious]

"If he's payin', I'm layin'!"

[Dark Dick]

"If he's spendin', your bendin'!"

[Dark Dick]

"If he's cashin', you're smashin'!"

[Dark Dick]

"If he's breadin', you're spreadin'!"

[Dark Dick]

"If he's tippin', you're toppin'!"

[Dark Dick]

"If he's clammin', you're slammin'!"

[Mister Obvious]

"Everybody just stay away from each other."

[Mister Obvious]

"Nut butter."

*laugh/screech*

[Mister Obvious]

"You gotta be able to haunt like a man."

[Mister Obvious]

[Dark Dick]

"CHICKEN WANGS!!!"

[Dark Dick]

LOL. "Chicken Wangs" would be Chicken Vienna Sausages.

[Mister Obvious]

"Whoa, my bananas are dancing really fast!"

[Mister Obvious]

lololololol

[Mister Obvious]

"You can't spot-clean with a dirty rag."

Yo, that's some deep shit.

[Mister Obvious]

"Ain't nobody or nothin' gonna get between me and the mouth love I'm making to this granola bar right now."

[Mister Obvious]

"She'd rather have sex with me."

[Mister Obvious]

Why are there NO lesbians anywhere??

Like...

You see gay dudes constantly, trans is fucking everywhere, blah blah.

Where the fuck are the lesbians??

My only theory is that they're...

Well, women.

They're not really hellbent on taking over the world or trying to assert dominance all over everything, that kinda behavior isn't very common in the female nature...

That's the best I've got to explain this phenomenon.

I feel like the last time lesbians had any representation was in the '90s.

This total lack of lesbians seems kind of suspicious.

Maybe even worse than suspicious.

Is it a conspiracy?

[Mister Obvious]

I dunno, I guess I just miss gay women.

[Mister Obvious]

I miss lesbians.