Someone went on a car window breaking spree here last night.

[user113]

Your attempts to pretend as though you don’t want to mercilessly slam this sweaty piece of taint are futile.

Oh, I'm gonna slam it, all right. The only question is, will I need to put it in the microwave on defrost first?

[Mister Obvious]

Yes.

You will.

BUT AFTER THAT!!!

It’s on.

[Mister Obvious]

You could also just pour hot coffee on it.

Or strap a HotHands on your dick.

[Mister Obvious]

Bengay lube.

[user113]

I'm afraid getting Ben Gay on my turgid member would wilt it. There must be a better way. Think, dammit! My balls are turning blue over here.

[Mister Obvious]

Tobasco.

[Mister Obvious]

FRANK’S.

RED.

HOT.

[user113]

Which Tabasco? I have original and jalapeno. I also have a bottle of sriracha. Or better yet, how about guacamole? I could eat a gallon of guacamole. Would a gallon fit in there?

[Mister Obvious]

Horseradish.

[user113]

Horseradish.

Make it wasabi, and you've got yourself a deal.

[Mister Obvious]

That’s fucked up.

[user113]

That’s fucked up.

Not unless you put a whole glob in your mouth at once.

[Cream of Caulk]

Since you don't live in a bad neighborhood, I think you implied that, you live in the neighborhood of the offspring from bad liberal parents. This happened to our car once when we lived in a community full of divorced liberals, you need to get out of the suburb.

[user113]

Since you don't live in a bad neighborhood, I think you implied that, you live in the neighborhood of the offspring from bad liberal parents. This happened to our car once when we lived in a community full of divorced liberals, you need to get out of the suburb.

It's in the city, not the suburbs. While it's not a bad neighborhood, it's not one of the better neighborhoods either. All of the parents I know around here are pretty good parents. Like most apartment complexes, it probably has its share of Section 8 tenants though.

It's not a forgone conclusion that the perpetrators even live here. Anyone could wander through and get up to no good. It looks to me like someone was looking for drugs, drug money, or something they could sell for drug money.

Since I'm evidently wasting my time looking for a job here and may have to find a different line of work either way, I'd just as soon do it somewhere else.

[user113]

The SafeLite auto glass guy came by today. Replaced the window right here in the parking lot in less than 30 minutes. Progressive has zero deductible on auto glass, provided there were no other damages to the vehicle. It's really paying off this year!

[Mister Obvious]

Awww, I love happy endings!

[user113]

It just makes you want to fuck me silly, doesn't it? 

[Cream of Caulk]

It took 6 days for your insurance company to come out and replace the window? Or was this a frugal thing and there is no deductible if you wait 6 days?

[Mister Obvious]

It just makes you want to fuck me silly, doesn't it? 

Only kind of a lot.

[user113]

It took 6 days for your insurance company to come out and replace the window? Or was this a frugal thing and there is no deductible if you wait 6 days?

I didn't call them until late Monday. I didn't want to fool with it over the holiday weekend. Just because someone else was having a lousy holiday doesn't mean I had to.