I'd like to talk to you all about the quality of your shits...

[NotAllowed]

Eat the processed bran sticks.
100 grams is your 30 grams of fiber per day.
And you will shit proper.
But you have to eat it everyday.
Which is boring.
Go for a jog or something.
A fast walk.

[Mister Obvious]

I'm like the Head of the Ministry of Fiber.

I tell everyone this, cuz I want people's lives to be easier.

[Mister Obvious]

Life is hard enough without the consequences of dry, tiny shits.

[Mister Obvious]

Think I'm weird now, thank me later...

IDGAF.

We may never cross paths again...

But someday when you're on that toilet (not even the right way to shit in the first place, BTW)...

Straining and damaging your ahole, you're gonna remember what I said, and it's gonna be a turning point in your life.

I just want you to know that you're welcome.

[Mister Obvious]

KIND Bars are good for noob young people who don't realize the importance of fiber yet.

It's kinda like ordering Hello Fresh for a few months so you can learn the principles behind cooking.

[NotAllowed]

You do have and have said very scientific and natural things about taking a shit.
Which is one of the most important things we do.
So I would like your input forever for things you find out.
Im not saying I know everything, I just have a lot of research on the subject.
Which no one wants to talk about. So any knowledge you find would be nice.

[Mister Obvious]

It's one of life's most important topics and things to educate oneself about...

Everybody likes to keke and think it's funny cuz poop...

But it's actually very serious, very important to make sure that you are giving yourself the best possible chance at a happy, healthy, comfortable life.

You better bet I'll keep sharing whatever I learn.

That said, the fundamentals are luckily pretty simple...

It's just getting people to take it seriously and do their best with their diet and fitness that seems to be the rub.

[Mister Obvious]

Okay so listen...

Wim Hof breathing techniques work SUPER WELL for when you're taking a huge shit.

[Mister Obvious]

Particularly the speed breathing super deep and fast.

That shit is FIRREEEE.

[Mister Obvious]

It'll help you give birth to that buttbaby no problem!

[fungaroochee]

Mine are coming out to thin sum ting wong ho lee fuk and I had a colo no cancer so wtf just wtf?
Fuxing hemorrhoids every one has them just when they get inflamed.

[Mister Obvious]

Yeah, the best way to deal with 'rhoids is to prevent them.

Once you have them, fiber and plenty of hydration are about the only solace.

[FungMungMoo]

Yeah, the best way to deal with 'rhoids is to prevent them.

Once you have them, fiber and plenty of hydration are about the only solace.

Everyone has them inside them. When they get inflamed they bleed and cause shit problems.
They are there to cushion your shits everyone has them just not everyone has inflamed ones.
There is internal and when they get inflamed they can become external which are the worst.
I get my 30g's of fiber per day so it must be an auto immune disorder where my own body attacks them.
Funny they started 26 hours after I had that adeno vector shot just a coincidence right?
I didn't have a choice here in communist shit hole. At least adeno vector tech has been used in humans before unlike that mrna crap.
Its actually turned off cancer cells cured people of cancer. Some patients it killed the patient. But I don't think they would've given much of a fuck as they had exhausted all other options.
15 months those spike proteins last in your body im past that but then what damage have they done before they fucked off?

[Mister Obvious]

Sounds like you're onto something re: inflammation.

Maybe a good approach would be incorporating plenty of natural anti-inflammatory food etc.

Olive oil is great for anti-inflammation, also lubes your insides.

If you find the secret of secrets, share among us bro.

[Mister Obvious]

Make sure your shitting posture is right too...

We were supposed to squat to shit.

Not just elevate the feet on one of those "squatty potty" stool things either.

I'm talking squat down all the way.

[Mister Obvious]

*Sitting* to shit is about the most unnatural thing ever.

[bungholehelp]

Ya know when people were hoarding the toilet paper during the lockdowns.
Now there is no longer that kind of toilet paper its changed.
I might try anti bacterial baby wipe things.
And yeah sqautting to shit is best I have tried to do this except you have to stand up toilets are like chairs.
I suppose that has helped a bit. It has died down a bit I suppose maybe getting better I dunno.
Just the thin squiggle shits are not usually what occurs its my actual bunghole not my bowel.
But they tested all that no cancer so ho lee fuk at this.

[Mister Obvious]

If I'm ever elderly, I will have pioneered a squat-shitting help apparatus... kinda like a walker or something, but made to help you squat and then get back up.

This is one of my main motivations for trying to get fit and stay in shape as I age.

For real... you gotta be able to squat, holmes.

Toilet paper is whatever, I barely even use it. Wash your ahole with a perineal cleansing bottle, it's a medical device for postpartum care, they sell them in packs of 6 for like $8.

[ThisCouldBeIt]

I just took a perfect shit on the bristol stool scaled it was perfect it did break up but its consistency and ease of projecting was perfect.
What I ate yesterday was beef ravioli with a red pasta sauce sauce but they say it takes up to 30 hours for a shit to form.
What I ate before that previous day was butter chicken kebabs which I took off the sticks but I had brown rice not white rice.
I think brown rice is the solution but fuck I like fluffy white rice? I also used those wet wipes not toilet paper.
I think we are on to something here.

[Mister Obvious]

The squat is the secret.

If you eat enough fiber and you get enough hydration, that's good...

But it's only half the battle.

Squatting is the other half.

So I'm glad to hear you're seeing the benefits.

Really get that squat on.

I dunno what the stool is that you are referencing...

I just know you need to be as close to a full on squat as you possibly can.

The beef rav and red sauce doesn't sound fibery enough to me. Did you include spinach or a salad? Always add spinach into your red sauce at the absolute least.

Butter is good for innard lube...

Whatever you're eating should incorporate olive oil or a lot of butter (olive oil is cheaper, and heck, use 'em both)...

Keep the innards lubed.

All your meals should be coated with that lube and should include at least a cup of some type of green.