CSI: Miami (2002) - Review & Commentary

[Mister Obvious]

Season 3 - Episode 5 - "Legal"

0:17 look at those hotass dudes in the black t-shirts. Tight black t-shirts are the hottest thing on Italian dudes.

4:20 she's MICROCHIPPED!?

5:40 are they saying the dude jerked off all over her dead body??

9:10 "That's hot" roflmfao.

15:51 "My parents are leaving me their lawnmower" ROFLMFAO this new guy Wolfe is so likable.

31:38 aaaaahhhhhh those waaaarrrmmmm tonesssss thoooouuuugggghhhh.

37:45 awww, that's such a sad story yo!

42:10 LOL, oh. My. God. Now THAT'S some messed up shit.

What a story!

[Dark Dick]

LOL... I was watching "Dogs Of War" and noticed Christopher Walken looks like David Caruso.

https://i.imgur.com/rokgAXm.jpg

http://image.wikifoundry.com/image/1/mYN.../GW308H378

[Mister Obvious]

He looks like somebody else too...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ECX3SJ5WwAEFcQo.jpg

http://images.nymag.com/nymetro/arts/tv/...27_175.jpg

I ain't hatin', I'm just sayin'.

[Mister Obvious]

He's one of those dudes who looks better older.

OMG...

https://c8.alamy.com/comp/F0PEAM/david-c...F0PEAM.jpg

Why the fuck was I born in the wrong decade???

Wonder what's in this bag he carries?

http://www.janetcharltonshollywood.com/i...09acut.jpg

https://tse3.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.p42fXBORQhiMyieM_DC08wHaLH&pid=Api&P=0&w=300&h=300

Apparently he's an artist or something, those artist types!

They're always either nice/normal, or totally rude douchebag morons who are a lot less talented than they think they are. I only associate with humble artists.

Anyways, I dunno what David's deal is, but he's always been a real cutie. He's got a great voice and a nice smile.

[Mister Obvious]

Season 3 - Episode 6 - "Hell Night"

2:10 what the hell is this episode about?

So this is a jury going to see the scene of the crime? At night?? That's ridiculous.

3:40 the guy is innocent.

4:30 oh come on, this is stupid.

6:15 "I have a keen grasp of the obvious" OMG ME TOO THOUGH?!!?!!?!

8:50 I think Horatio should have laid the pipe on Calleigh.

17:14 so Horatio suspects that Ray Jr.'s bad friends paintball gunned that old dude to death.

21:10 oh shit man. Oh shit.

29:17 YOU TELL'EM HORATIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL THAT PUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

35:03 see that's what I said too!!!

38:25 gross!

40:50 she straight up murdered that chick, OMG!

41:14 she must be crazy!

[Mister Obvious]

Season 3 - Episode 7 - "Crime Wave"

1:10 chaos though. It always breaks out amidst disaster! So little holding people together.

2:28 aw man, she was pretty hot too!

10:48 "I'm gonna get you" Oh Horatio! Talk dirty to me baby!

11:05 uh oh, somebody been beating up on Horatio's brother's woman!?! Are we finally gonna see Horatio lose his shit with somebody?!

18:40 LOL what the fuck is with this episode?? It's like a doomsday movie meets CSI?? LMAO this is so bizarre.

18:45 those are some seriously horrible graphics. LMAO. How great would it be to get carried off amidst a disaster by Horatio though? Yowza baby hell yeah. I'd prefer a fire tsunami. But other than that, mkay.

21:14 that near slip was super realistic. So well played!

22:22 there's no water in her apartment, it's all back where it's supposed to be, she'll be fine.

24:50 "If you ever touch her again, I'm gonna kill you" Oh Horatio, more!

37:55 LOL what the hell is with this episode? It's like "2012" (2009) or something. This episode was filmed in 2004 though lol.

42:26 this lady is such a bitch... I would totally not love her anymore if I was Horatio.

43:00 whoa, what the fuck is with Horatio and this chick?? Do they have a THING?!?!

[Mister Obvious]

Kiiiiiiinda getting burnt out on this show, not gonna lie.

It's great. I think it's great. It's not cuz it's not great.

[Mister Obvious]

Season 3 - Episode 8 - "Speed Kills"

0:30 "No one loves a shallow, sexual relationship more than me" ROFLMAO damn, she's a real winner!

1:40 this episode is a bit weird so far.

5:10 fricken everyone "has access to acetone", you can buy it anywhere, it removes polish faster than anything.

6:50 she threw acetone on his car OMG!!! What kinda psycho douche does something like that!?

8:00 sometimes there are a few misses, but for the most part this show has some great music.

10:00 lol Alexx is gonna love breakin' this guy in!!!

12:55 "I don't like him" ROFLMAO was she talking about Horatio?!?!?!

19:40 "Chad" lmfaolololll.

22:08 whoever the Jack guy is this lady was in on it.

26:25 EVERY. SINGLE. SCENE. With Horatio makes me wanna bang so hard.

30:42 isn't that the singer guy from Maroon 5?

36:30 awe. Poor guy.

Good story though!

[Mister Obvious]

Season 3 - Episode 9 - "Pirated"

1:10 omfg groossssss.

5:50 humans swimming along the bottom of the ocean. Talk about being somewhere you're not supposed to!!!

12:40 CANNIBALISM!!!!!!????????

19:30 as if the pirates wouldn't be keeping a lookout at all times.

25:00 this guy's dad is pretty hot.

Not a great episode, too much racist propaganda.

[Mister Obvious]

Season 3 - Episode 10 - "After The Fall"

0:12 why did the thought of a dude hanging from the ledge of a building whilst receiving head just enter my mind?

1:46 I may get burnt out on this show, but my hunger for Horatio never lessens.

5:42 mmmmm God I love seeing Horatio get rough with people!

9:08 "excessive use of force"... *nanarub*

9:26 Horatio is so pretty.

9:51 "Eric has a real job" ooooOooooOooo burrrrrnnnnn!!!

13:54 "Was it worth it?" I like this new guy, Wolfe. He's good.

21:00 that seems like fun!

24:55 wow, they've totally cracked this case... shocking!

25:35 just knowing these two have been banging turns me on.

27:46 whoa, for CENTURIES???!!!

35:00 in this episode they've been talking a lot about how peat moss (Everglades) and the tannins therein kill bacteria and are naturally preserving. About tannins: https://tea101.teabox.com/tannins-in-tea/ http://www.immunehealthscience.com/tannins.html

LOL the ending of this episode was cute.

[Mister Obvious]

Does anyone know if there's an episode where Horatio gets legitimately violent with somebody for more than like 20 seconds? I'm horny.

[Dark Dick]

You should try watching "Hawaii Five-O" instead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR8RHBXjMlE

[Mister Obvious]

Nooooo.

I see where you're coming from but there's nobody super hot on there like Horatio.

Well I mean, actually...

James MacArthur is pretty damn fucking hot.

Can you believe the 2010 Hawaii 5-O remake has lasted for 9 seasons?? Wuuut.

The original was 12 seasons.

[Mister Obvious]

MacArthur was a total hunk...

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2010/10/...-jumbo.jpg

Curly hair too, that's all I really want out of a man.

[Mister Obvious]

6:02 I almost fucking choked.

[Mister Obvious]

IS Horatio the coolest and sexiest character ever?

Probably.

I mean that red hair...

Fills me with desire.

[Dark Dick]

CSI: Tampa Bay.

"Cuban Sandwich Indulgers".

[Dark Dick]

CSI: Down Under.

The female Ozzie cops look fitter.