All Time Favorite Figure Skaters

[Mister Obvious]

Dude these Russian figure skating chicks are scary as hell.

[Mister Obvious]

[Mister Obvious]

Um she was 15 in that video.

You gotta admit that is highly inappropriate and I am like actually shocked.

Cuz it's such a great performance, but it's like wildly inappropriate for someone that age to be doing that at the fucking Olympics, what the hell were they thinking??

OH BUT NO DOPING THO GUYS.

[Mister Obvious]

[Mister Obvious]

I'm not gonna get over that for a minute because I'm just appalled.

I think the whole thing is ruined for me now TBH.

[Mister Obvious]

Alexandra Trusova and Makar Ignatov are married and just had a baby...

https://i.imgur.com/kaIwXxB.png

Too bad they be having babies so early and totally ruining their careers, but whatevs.

1:56 sweet fuck, she was so promising. Not sure what's harder on your body, figure skating or having kids.

Lol. Prolly having kids. At least with figure skating, you get lots of cool footage of you doing awesome stuff.

With kids, you just get stretchmarks, loose skin, and an expensive brat who's gonna grow up to be an asshole who hates you.

[Mister Obvious]

Her jumps were fuckin' SIIIIIIIICK.

But I'm not sure she seems all that happy doing this...

In fact, she doesn't really appear to be enjoying it that much in any of the videos I've seen.

Maybe she didn't really even like figure skating that much.

Maybe in Russia, figure skating is like ballet, and she got forced into it as a kid and just went along with it til she was old enough to say fuck this, I don't wanna skate.

[Mister Obvious]

But if figure skating is the equivalent of ballet in Russia...

We better watch the fuck out, because even ballet isn't getting much action over here in the US anymore.

No physical activity is really getting much action over here, what the fuck has taken the place of ballet??

Prolly stripping, lmao.



Mommy's got a fucking stripper pole in the living room, who needs ballet?

The US has gotta step it up, we're going down the drain man.

[Mister Obvious]

Can we even manage a fucking roller derby in this society today??

It'd be better than nothing, my God.

[Mister Obvious]

Discos and roller derbies, bring 'em back. The fuck is wrong with this country.

[Mister Obvious]

https://i.imgur.com/kUZXXqd.jpeg

[Mister Obvious]

Kaori Sakamoto...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaori_Sakamoto

She won bronze and silver at the Olympics in 2022.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wmb2nrce_YY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdvAF1Ka1iE

Apparently she will be retiring after the Milano Cortina Olympics.

I don't really like her musical choices, but I could see her winning gold.

1:45 - 2:01 effortless, supreme.

Again, not really a fan of the music, but it's better than her past choices.

3:32 - 3:53 she's formidable, I'd be real interested to see who could beat her.

She's probably the winner for the women's singles 2026 Olympic gold.



This is called "Time To Say Goodbye", likely a reference to her retirement after the Olympics.

She definitely intends to win. I think it's in the bag.

2:34 - 2:55 fkn spectacular man. I just don't see her losing.

If some rando Russian chick pops up out of nowhere and beats her, I'ma have to call for drug testing.

[Mister Obvious]

With Ilia Malinin's showy ass in attendance, no one is gonna care about the female skaters...

https://www.today.com/video/figure-skate...9370821602

Dude has fantastic style though, too bad he can't skate in something like that.

That's his look, that's his jam.

He really seems like a lovely guy... hopefully he stays safe on the ice and his career is longer than I assume it's gonna be.

I've seen other people expressing concerns about his safety as well, so I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Some people do think Yuma could beat Ilia.

I prefer not to pit the two against each other... Yuma is such a wonderful skater and he's so much different from Ilia in basically every way.

Regardless, it does come down to the two of them, so it is what it is.

[Mister Obvious]

LOL @ the comments...

The figure skating corner of YouTube is truly a dumpster fire.

It's either Shorts thirsting over the hot dude skaters set to horrendous music, or it's former skaters turned instructors telling you about the 5 hundred million different types of skates to choose from.

Blah.

Too bad I don't care enough to corner the figure skater commentary market because it needs... people.

[Mister Obvious]

Rio Nakata...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rio_Nakata

He's 16 and it looks like he's taking off huge right now.

I have never seen him skate before, can't wait to check this out.

He declares Shoma Uno as his figure skater hero, but I don't think anyone's looking at him thinking anything other than "Hanyu?"

I guess I should actually watch him perform before I judge that though...



0:02 it's giving straight.

0:48 I could tell by the sound of his skates cutting the ice, he ain't fucking around.

This guy is strong.

1:08 oh fuck...

Well, Ilia my guy, you better get to winning that Olympic gold cuz in a couple years, Rio's coming for that ass.

One of the reasons Yuzuru was so massively popular was because of his grace that really leaned into the feminine, but in a way that was totally unique to him.

This guy probably isn't going for that. But he's clearly so great, just imagine what a couple more years will do for him.

Nakata's come-up will give Ilia enough time to claim the medal he really wants and then be ready to retire. I think he goes too hard to be viable for more than one Olympic cycle... he'd be 25 by the time he'd have to face off against this guy.

For Ilia at his current level of performance, he really does need to win the gold in 2026, cuz there might not be another chance. What, is he gonna go harder for the 2030 Olympics? Get the fuck outta here. It's not possible to go any harder.

Maybe Rio will turn out to be a nothingburger, but I kinda doubt it.

2:45 that ain't giving nothingburger.

3:05 he kills. He slays. I feel sorry for anybody who's gonna have to compete against him. As long as he doesn't start suddenly disliking skating for whatever reason, there will be nothing that can stop him.



0:07 you can always tell when these figure skater dudes are straight... it definitely doesn't work 100% in their favor, a lot of the time they could benefit from being lighter in the loafers.

0:10 loving the outfit.

0:54 my favorite part of this dude's performances ain't even the jumps and the spins and shit, it's just the sound of his skates cutting the ice. He really is like a bull.

He doesn't always land perfect, but I think he can improve that a lot, he's so great for his age.

2:38 agh my God, kill it bro.

Definitely the most exciting one out there besides Yuma and Ilia.

I am such a fan of Yuma... I really wish he'd win in 2026 but I also know that Ilia definitely deserves to win.

Anyways, once the Ilia hype dies down over the next few years, if Rio's still in the game, I doubt they'll be talking about anyone else.

[Mister Obvious]

I find myself developing a genuine dislike for pairs skaters...

I just dunno why anyone would choose to do this with a partner instead of going it alone.

[Mister Obvious]

2:46:40 I can't believe how hard it is to find a pro quality video of this Ilia 2024 skate, since he apparently pulled SIX FUCKING QUADS during the program. You'd think the official channel would have uploaded it by itself, but this is the only one I could find.

If I've posted this before, excuse the hell out of me but I am not going back and digging through this thread to verify.

2:47:32 listen, as long as Ilia doesn't get injured to the point that he has to retire...

He's already one of the top 3 greatest figure skaters of all time IMO, and he's indisputably top 5 by anyone's standards.

He's made the ice his bitch, no two ways about it.

The only problem I have with it is just the blatant lack of foresight and the irresponsibility of being that hard on the body. Yuzuru wanted longevity, and that's why he didn't do this.

[Mister Obvious]

All the other male skaters must feel so ridiculously hopeless in Ilia's era.

It'd be hard to not throw in the towel and just say fuck it.

But think about it...

The other male skaters competing against him have been skating since they were little kids.

They've all got ~15 years in the game.

You'd have no way of knowing that once you make it onto the world stage and people finally know your name, you're gonna be around during the same time as THIS FUCKIN' GUY.

Agh man, it ain't even right or fair.

And he's so nice you can't even hate him for it.

[Mister Obvious]

This is my porn.

[Mister Obvious]

UUUUHUHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUHHHHtsst.

I came.